Have You Been Naughty Or Nice???

 With the future looming and daily transforming into the present, we must be certain to set our intentions with as must appropriation as possible. Are yours to be "Important" one of the "Beautiful People" or to"Show Them"? If so yours may be a bit jaded and in need of some healing. We have all been there, the key as Lisa Nichols would say is not to take up permanent residency there.
We are here only for a time, this goes without saying. We are constantly reminded with the loss of  friends, family, co-workers and members of the community via the nightly news. Most often times abruptly and without warning. How time consuming to consistently be on the proverbial stand, trying to prove something, to continue to live up to an unreasonable expectation and someone else's desire for your life.
When you envision yourself in a successful capacity do you imagine the conversations carried or the threads you'd adorn? Do you imagine snuffing the people who'd previously snubbed you? Sashaying past previous loves who left you for Her??? Look at me now honey...I'm Shiny and New!! Think of it as him doing you a favor and making room for your husband. Or do you ponder the tithes you'll offer, charities with which to donate, how you will love on those less than friendly individuals, or how you will pay homage to those that helped you along the way? Tell the truth, its OK this is a safe space. I'm sure there have been quite a few people who've helped in various forms. Think about it. All that "showy" stuff is external and of no importance even with a hefty price tag. Internal is the focus, the most valued and priceless.
When you prove to the Father he can trust you, he will bless you with more. Remain Humble I say time and time again and remove All Ego from the equation. We all could use a reminder sometime, its easy to forget when the world gives you the cold shoulder and talks down to you with out reason.
You were made for this, abundance included, whatever your this maybe. If it makes you feel alive, if you move and function as your most authentic self  you can and will obtain treasure, all the while helping others to find there's. People will like you when you become successful and fulfill your dreams but they will love you when you help them fulfill theirs. Isn't that what we all want ? To be loved? Yes, we are made in His imagine and in his likeness, He wants us to love Him too. If while performing your "this" time doesn't exist and you could continue until the end of time, you have found your alive essence. Mike Murdock says. "if you take a fish out of water and place him on the ground, he will flop around and go nowhere like a dummy, but put that same fish in the water and his genius manifest." Ask God to manifest your genius.
 Don't you love the share button on Face Book? It's a test if you think about it.The Share button is asking you to make a conscious choice, a decision, ever so slightly. What is your thought process? I'm talking specifically about those bits of information you stumble upon you know will cause an effective change. These small and subtle daily choices collectively compose your character.
The choice is yours and only you can make it.
God Bless You, Thank You for reading
Very Best Life Begin,
Shawna Jones (formerly Sjstyle)

Excellence

   Most of us are working within companies we don't particularly care for and within jobs we feel don't pay us enough and are even "beneath" us. Stay because we need the income and complain complain complain as much as the day is long to whomever will listen. Sharing negativity works in the opposite way you think it does, its not serving you , your company or the company you keep and especially not the Universe that's ALWAYS working on your behalf. You see He knows what's best for you, what you can manage and what you think you are ready for. Every single experience is for your growth and personal development; evolving you into this complete being. Remember you aren't "only Human", you are a Human Being, ever evolving,  learning,  growing and changing.
Everything God made , He made it to grow and that especially includes you. While contributing your time to any job remember this is your life which is a scarce natural resource and hear anyone that's lost most anyone at anytime; entirely too short. You are where you are because this experience is a preparation for whats to come. You are being prepared for excellence and in order to become excellent you must be refined in your service through dedication and consistency. Do your job and allow it to represent your excellence. Let your work ethic be rooted in your very very best, let's call it practice because you can't just switch on when your "dream" career presents  itself if you have accustomed yourself to perform in mediocrity.
Why do you think some excel? Few remain ambitious , many start off strong and wither with the test of time. Work for an applause for which never arrives and lose sight of the bigger picture. Prepare for the , "thanks!!! good job", but are left hanging. Over looked by the boss do to the new cute hire or the owners niece and sometimes the recent college grad that you are left to train for your position. Let me remind you God sees all and you in all your excellence. This is not the destination but the journey and we've only just begun.
It's okay if you have gotten overwhelmed over worked and dropped the ball a few times, redemption is imminent and you can and will create a new. One of the very best ways to succeed is by failing because when you suffer, you remember and you learn. Remain humble you know who you are and what you feel you deserve but the individual that's your supervisor is so because God says so, it is well!! All that is due you is for you and you will surely receive it. My Great Grandmother( Mother Dear) used to say, "the slowest way is the best way" and why is that; because its a process.
You are excellent at your 9 to 5 you Mogul you! You are excellent at your part-time retail position  you Fashion Designer Extraordinaire you! You are excellent as a stay at home mother you Entrepreneur you! Don't you forget! Now go forth in excellence.
God Bless You
Sjstyle

Trust

There is tremendous power in thought. The Bible says so a man thinkth so is he. Every material item began with a thought, think about it. A lot of who and where you are today has to do with your thought processes. Too much pressure? I think not. Powerful for sure.

Did you know the difference between you and the tree in your back yard are a mere few elements listed on the periodic table? Yes it's true. We are all connected, its amazing, the sky, the tree's , the water, you and I are all the same disguised in different costumes if you will. Deepak Chopra says "a tree doesn't try to be a tree, it just is." You and I are a part of this exact same completing essence. We were created to create. You don't have to try to be what you are, it already is, just be.

Today  was a combination of dreams and focused intentions coming to reality. Standing in front of the multi billion dollar Globally expansive Hearst Corporation my eyes filled with happy tears. This was the very beginning and the ending. It was the beginning of a new more fulfilling chapter and the ending of a less than serving existence. As if I crossed over to the other side of redemption.

Now the work begins, as a trailblazer you set the stage for the next and the foundation  layed must be strong, sturdy and invincible. No longer going through the motions and pretending, it's go time and you want to come out and  play full out. Show Up! Ask for a hard thing, envision yourself receiving it and go forth in preparation. You must be passionate and mentaly ready to do the work.
How will you ever know whats "too much" for you if you never push yourself past your current conditioning? Of course you get nervous and feel scared. Do something daily that scares you, you will out do yourself each day. You are your only competition. Not your neighbor or the girls you went to junior high-school with or your spouse. You! As I mentioned in a prior posting get comfortable being uncomfortable, success demands it! This is how you build your self-esteem. The self-esteem that's so low at times you can barely decide what to have for lunch.

Some of us talk ourselves out of something because we have never accomplished something so grand and fear we may fail if we try. I encourage you to fail, because you will suffer a little and when you suffer you remember and when you remember you will make a different choice the next time around. Don't beat yourself up for it either. Every observation you make about yourself make it constructive and don't allow others to. Its okay to improve on one's self and be open to feedback but only to a point. Let your heart be your guide it will help you differentiate the difference.

On this planet we have air ,water, food to eat, people to enjoy and beautiful garments to adorn ourselves in . Just like this planet you likewise have everything you need to be the very best you you can be. Trust yourself you are perfect!

Thank you for reading
Sjstyle

When In Rome do as the Romans do?

As an African American woman in this country I find the struggle between growing up poor and "keeping it real" transformed into education and advancement with financial stability an insult to some or even most in my community. I have been told that because I speak with "big words" I think I'm better than someone and I walk around like a white girl. How in the world did this happen? I think that people have a ton of preconceived notions and expectations of what it means to be black and when you challenge that and say I'm going to continue to be black that's the only way I could ever be , but I'm also going to add a few degree's to my belt, refuse to raise my children in the neighborhoods I was raised, share my journey so the next generation might make a different choice and  this makes people uncomfortable. It even makes people so uncomfortable they want to test you and see if you can still "get urban" as my favorite professor,  Professor Woods would say. You could choose when in Rome do as the Romans do, play small and limit your verbiage, intelligence and professional persona, or you could do what feels right. What is that? For me it had a lot to do with listening to the negativity and the perceived problem because with in them lie the solution. Each day is a new lesson to be learned and as soon as you think you have learned them all in comes a new one.
I even went as far as to feel sorry for myself because I wasn't all things to all people and I wasn't liked by everyone nor was I spreading the bliss I'd so strived for. For me I learned not to force solutions on issues and sometimes they will resolve themselves.Other times you have to look in the mirror. Ask questions you might not want to know the answer to. If perception is reality, how am I being perceived? Am I in some way coming across as condescending or boastful. Do my stories in some way offend or ensue regret in others for less than best choices they've made in the past? How can I be a mover and a shaker in a manner that doesn't step on anyone's toes? Most importantly if I am this example of the new African American standard how can I continue to flourish without alienating my own kind or any kind for that matter? I'm working on the answers but the best part is I'm more aware of these possibility and I'm also more accepting of different personality types.So here's to being the change you want to see.
God Bless You
Thank You For Reading
Sjstyle

Stories Untold

She and I had never spoken and yet we knew each other so very well. I looked out of the only window of my 7th floor apartment which faced a brick wall and a window, her window. She was youthful and full of vigor, child-like and loving, innocent and menaceing. A victim of her own story with no Super Hero in sight. Hoping, hurting, praying she was, often, in  her home filled with broken glass, egg shells, sudden unwanted surprises,disrepair and constant disappointment.  I'd watch her eyes as she looked out the window. I'd watch her thinking. I watched her write words from the heart. I watched as the tears began and until they had completely fallen, I'd watch her wipe her face in furry, hide her face in frustration and scream aloud into her clasped finger-tips. Sometimes I wondered her thoughts and I knew them. What just happened this time? And then our eyes met. A sun-filled ray of light connected them and we spoke silently. She whispered as she shared, her pain spoke much louder, she was only 16. She wanted to run away, but didn't want to leave her little sister behind. The absence of her father left the stench of poverty and crack-cocaine. The unwanted advances made by her mother's drug dealing boyfriend had now become of a sexual nature. It was only a matter of time before he made his move. Oh no not that again, her mother's last boyfriend did that to her and that's when her mother stared doing drugs again. It was all her fault, she was convinced. Her favorite film was The sound of Music, she could watch for hours at a time. It was just the type of presentation she yearned for. One day my mommy will find someone so special, that she will be so happy, she will stop doing drugs. She wanted to sing, she wanted to dance and play an instrument. She wanted to have a new pair of shoes, at least two pair and look like someone beautiful. Her eyes closed, our conversation went silent. She opened them with a single tear. She was ashamed. She opened her window wider and faster than I'd ever seen before and she stepped onto the ledge. I scurried to open mine and  screamed NO as I stepped on my ledge in the furious dead of winter winds dressed in only a bellowing night gown.  Our voices met. We introduced ourselves in a shivering , screaming dialect. "I wanted to go to LaGuadia one day, they have good music programs." she blurted. "Want to come to my house for hot chocolate and talk about it a little more" I inquired " No thank you I'm not going there anymore, I'm leaving here, I wanted to go to college, get married to a man of my dreams that wore glasses and shiny shoes and have 4 children. Three boys and one girl, she would be the youngest. I would name her after myself." "You are going to have an amazing future" I encouraged "Na, I'm not smart enough for those things, my mother told me I must be the stupidest bitch she'd ever seen, I believe her" The wind interrupted her. Then a scream in the background. Her little sister had fallen." I have to go." she said in a rush "WAIT!!!! I have been waiting and subconsciously preparing to love on you a little bit. In some strange way I am glad you got on this ledge today, this is no accident. I am you in a few years, I know your story, I have recited it several times before to whom ever would listen. You can redesign your life, You can have whatever you want. Yes, Yes, Yes you can! I screamed, I acknowledge your sorrow and I embrace it but you can be your own search and rescue.When you go back in that house I want you to know that this is NOT your future, but it's all it will ever be if you end the story now. The best parts have yet to be written." She looked back at me without a word. I searched for her each day that week, went to the window and each time the sheet was down. I went to her apartment  anxious and full of fears of the worst. Her mother opened the door with drink in hand. She looked me up and down and said Yes?, I asked for her daughter she said she didn't know where that fast tail girl was and when she see her she was going to beat her behind. I left politely.
About a month later I received a letter in the mail. It was her. She had run and found her self and who she was and was working on manifesting the life she wanted to live. She said she was doing OK in school and had asked her best auntie to take her little sister, which she did. Her mother promises to do better and has left that guy. She doesn't know whats next but it happy there is more to come.
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You don't have to cut your story short, you can make a new choice and choose to be the light, so shine so bright. Let the world see that the Phoenix can rise from the dust. The ghetto, the hood, the Inner -City, the Urban Community you come from is the perfect soil for endless possibilities to grow tall.  You are a Hero, You are a maven in the making. Life has dragged you though the glass and you have come out shiny and new. I applaud your excellence, strength and courage. Replenish, rejuvenate, collect your thoughts and share them. We need them. Another person is waiting to hear from you and how, why, you made a different choice.
God Bless You
Thank You For Reading
Sjstyle

When I'm Gone

Cluttered with discouraged images of ones self and blinded by the images we sell to the world for free. Wonder and why and doubt battle it out for attention, who's the loser? What were you thinking? Have we forgotten the promised certain end of us all, It's total finality and the nothing-ness of  no more. Missing what never was can breed an interesting despair. It's a combination of loss, desire, and fantasy unfulfilled. Silent prayers go unanswered and salty sorrow filled tears fall on the heart. Clinched fist bust into screams of guilt, Show me unfair. Are we? One day the same hurt we felt we will likewise cause. Willingly, forcefully, intentionally, accidentally, vengefully, timely and untimely, eventually.
 Is it a waste of your time? Love, with a question mark or an exclamation point. Love freely, laugh the laugh of  bliss. You must know goodness , journey and  destination! A sure change. Personally. The present moment and the fulfillment of the deepest dream. The songs we sang to the top of our lungs with the last breathe. Hitting the money note better than any pro-tools mechanism.
What will you miss? The gleam in the eyes of a father's love for his daughter after the unexpected ,"daddy I love you" accompanied by the pure warm hug of a child, or the moment you meet the little being from your womb after 9 long months, the first time your eyes meet and you knew this was it.
Do they miss us? Do they remember when we were kids?  Just in case store up for that time. Say Hello, I love you, I need you, I pray you happiness, joy, laughter, then say so long. Whos' left behind, who's next? Will it change anything?
I pray you good fortune. I pray you an open mind free from ego, image, and power seeking desires. Give more than you take. Apologize. Smile at strangers. Cry. Sing. Dance. Buy it. Look Pretty. Share. Go, and show up. Hold Hands. Hug from the inside out. Respond. Pay attention, listen.
God Bless You
Thank You For Reading
Sjstyle:)

Time Helps Every Situation

When you think about it it’s hard to imagine how waiting, longing, anticipation, wanting, needing or any of such could be helpful, until you live through them. Time, such a tiny word with a tremendous about of purpose. Time heals, Time changes people, Time waits for no one, Time is of the essence, it takes Time, Time is money, Time is on my side, don't waste my Time, good Timing, do you have the Time, I don't have Time for this, be on Time, in the nick of Time and take your Time are some of my all Time favorites.

I had the great pleasure of having lunch with an enchanting, passionate, soberingly beautiful, aware, young woman, with impeccable personal style, Julia Gosen.She’s graced the stage of countless  N.Y.C, elite society Fashion Shows, impressive print and media work spreading social continuousness all while attending college. Not to mention she moved here from Canada all alone and with no solidified residence, friends, nor family. She embodies the meaning of a "Shero", brave, bold and courageous. Julia has been here for two years and her journey has been full of peaks and valleys, personal triumphs as well as failure's all the while she remains consistent.

We began our casual conversation as we strolled down Madison Avenue, people watching and wondering if it were possible to be lonely in a city this massive. The streets flooded with people for miles, as far as the eyes can see. The sidewalks in the distance appear to be rolling like waves in the ocean with people.  I'm lonely, Julia uttered. I thought about it. She continued. I'm here all alone with no solid anything. Friends, Boyfriend, place to stay, nothing, and most of the time I'm by myself. When I first came here I was surrounded by people, sure she's my friend I thought but I naturally began to weed people out. The city will do that to you. It will show you who’s who. The modeling scene is dog eat dog; people will throw you under the bus in a minute. Not to mention the horrible things some of these Casting Director's will say to you. I had a woman ask me if I eat before even shaking my hand. You have girls that are willing to do anything. It's just not healthy. I admit I was like them once; I liked the party scene and all the night life. The attention I received and being allowed to get in here or there because I look like this or that. I now see how stupid that was. Again so unhealthy, I wanna be able to have a baby one day. I would be out until 4am and have to be in class by 9am just so unhealthy. I've also lived in every borough in the city and some of the worst areas it’s taught me quite a bit about myself and keeping me first. I used to be a big people pleaser. If I ever have the opportunity to speak to another young lady that’s considering moving to New York for modeling or some other career path, I’d say make sure you have your head on your shoulder's straight, You have to, you have to be smart. This is definitely a concrete Jungle. If my child self saw my adult self she wouldn't be happy. If my grandma where still alive she probably wouldn’t be happy either. I was her pride and joy. Where I have accomplished a lot of things I still have so much work to do, and I'm still questioning things and sorting things out. Time helps every situation I guess. Julia I think your right! Only time has taught you these valuable lessons and no need worrying about the future it will take care of itself, I responded. Continue to stay present and remain present fully with no regret and wish I had done this or said that. These conversations are mere distractions. You are well on your way and I cannot believe how intelligent you are. Age is truly just a number.Every experience we experience is for our evolution and you are well on your way. By the way I’m sure you’re still your grandma’s pride and joy. Look at what you’ve accomplished in just two short years with constant combatants; imagine what you’ll accomplish in the next two years with this new found clarity and a little support. I celebrate you and I applaud you Julia. Take a bow, job well done.
And to all the Julia’s out there who dare to try, go for their dreams, overcome their fears, who inspire others, help one another and lend a hand, I also celebrate you. You are amazing and don’t forget it. You can be do and have any and everything you want. Give it some Time.
Thank you for Reading
God Bless You
Sjstyle

We Learn

If your lucky enough (and I use the word luck ever so loosely) to work, play or socialize in multiple circles you learn very quickly the dysfunction of humanity isn't only prevalent in " Urban" communities but it is expansive. Watching Soap Opera as a child with my mother as she loving nurtured my hair, I'd wonder how all these wealthy people had so much drama. This memory was refreshed as I began the interviewing process for my final quarter's internship in college. I noticed the people I thought  would treat me poorly were extra careful not to and the ones I'd expected to be super supportive were the exact opposite.
Some of us gain on the job training skills, I'm gaining on the journey training skills. I'm learning by being treated poorly how to treat others well. You can never hinder someones growth nor can you accelerate it. If there is a resource or valuable piece of information that you have and you know another could greatly benefit from it, do not hoard it. Share it, there is MORE than enough abundance to do around. I learned this lesson as my tummy would be growling and "out of no where" I would be feed free of charge.
Gandhi said Be the change you want to see. I also want to add to that accept your current circumstance. Stop forcing the future to be here, or frequently re-playing the past.
I hope this was helpful, pass it on.
God Bless You
Sjstyle

Can You Relate?

I think I'm just one of those people, the type that puts there foot in there mouth and wishes they hadn't said that. Makes a mistake,  apologizes and makes another, turns left instead of right, Generally misunderstood and often mistaken. Sensitive, unsure and a little impatient.  Just the perfect candidate for God to move, show up and show out. In His word He says when you are weak I am strong. Thank You Lord for being my strength. Today I had none. I woke up late after going to bed early. Couldn't process my thoughts and put together an outfit. Disappointed someone or two, got offended, needed a hand, lost something important and expensive, cried too long and was too upset to eat.
I know I will get it together i just wonder what I am ruining in the meantime? If I could only get out of my own head and out of my own way......What does that even really mean?
Most days I'm so confused, pulling from one self help book to the next just to feel bad about feeling bad and not evolving as the book guaranteed I would with proper practice of the principals.
Wanting to speak to someone but there being no one. Jesus.
I pray I'm not being to forward or too miserable. I pray that I'm not being selfish or a complainer. I just really could use you right now. I need to know what's happening to me and what I need to be doing to make it. Am I not trying hard enough , am I not being nice enough, am I not sharing enough? How can I help ?
My son saw me crying today, I thought he was fast asleep. He said he came to check on me. What  a major burden for a child, how noble of him.
I guess none of us should expect to have a vacation of a life all the time. Thank you Father for hearing me and allowing me to speak for that someone who didn't have the words to say.
I will continue to praise you. I thank you for every road traveled, your mercy and your loving kindness towards me. I have embraced peace.
Thank You For Reading
God Bless You
SjStyle

She Decided

I am the wind, the stars, the sun, the moon, the light. The present, the past, the expected ending, the positive motivation, I am God's greatest gift to myself. I am powerful, beautiful, compelling, complicated, confused. I am giving.

You see, he was convinced that loving her was an unnecessary obstacle. Reside together, play a role . He was too in love with "being right", "being out", "being tipsy", "being fly" to ever fully love her. Everyday his demands and disapproval were a topic of discussion. Why cant you be more like this? Why can't you be more like that? Aren't you supposed to be this? Why can't you just know? My friends said I should try 'this' on you. She wondered silently at first and then aloud, what can I do to resolve this and when did I become a case study? Miss' fix it, Miss' make her self perfect, Miss' play small to his un-yielding will. He would rant , rave, scream, scold,verbally abuse her all to make his point. Always his way, no possible alternatives.She was certain it was not all about her and her misbehavior, he was troubled on the inside.  She decided not to resist. What he thought was what he thought. If he had not eyes to see her and all her splendor she would not remove the blinders. She decided for herself that it was OK to allow the winds of change to blow. Not to be liked, not to always be treated fairly. Everything changes only nothing stays the same. So she waited.
God Bless You
Sjstyle

Family Photos

Sometimes I wonder the conversations that took place before and after photos of myself as a baby. Who argued, who didn't want to take a picture, who wasn't ready e.t.c.
I also look at these pictures and I look into my own eyes as a baby. So tiny, delicate,engaging and bright. Seeming to see all and provoking uncontrollable joyous conversation. I then compare them with more recent photos of myself. Fewer questions come to mind. I remembered the arguments, who didn't want to take a photo and who wasn't ready. I compare the possibilities I once felt with the crippling realities faced.
I wonder why you can't remember any of these tiny precious memories and no matter how old you become there are some memories you will never forget.
My eyes have gotten much larger are still bright have seen the dark side and lived to tell the story.
My heart is burdened to carry out the unfulfilled dreams of a that little girl. The never ending conversations about what I want to be when I grow up, with Mother Dear, my mother and my father. The Bible says the Heart is deceitful and desperately wicked but you surely feel that thing don't you. The disparity of doing what's right and what you need to do. Come up against your self worth, belief in you and physical restraints.
I am committed to making every dream, thought, imagination come to fruition. I need this like I need air. I have to make!!! I can't not make it! I can't give up. I have to believe in me for the little girl in the picture and for the little girl from my womb. The little girl who needs something to believe in. A picture of someone that looks like her and has conquered lack. I mentioned it before it gets so hard you want to scream at the top of your lungs and stomp your foot, ball up your fists, curse God and die.  I think we all have a little bit of Brother Job in us, tap into it. It's Power.
I send you my strength.
Take a picture, see you on the other side of the struggle
God bless You
Sjstyle

note to self

Sometime you want to be there for people where ever there might be and you just can not. I wish I could. Respond to every request, every need and every event. Sometime I play it forward and I intentionally imagine what it will feel like when my children need me for something and I'm not going to be able to physically be there for them. I let it kill me now so it won't so much later or at least I hope. I imagine the fear in there hearts and the tears in their eyes. The prayers they might pray and the frustrations they will assurely encounter. I imagine the stuff I just can't get them out of, the people and places they will gather . The first boy to break my daughters gentle heart and the first fight my son will brave. I have filled my heart with prayers to activate in my absence.
I am also instilling life skills within them now. Its so hard, but I know it will be just fine and God will be in the midst.
Quick Note to Self
God Bless You
Sjstyle

Thank you Lord!

From Heaven He came to see about me. He is the perfect example and the most splendidly divine. He is, He reigns and is ever so humble, a perfect gentlemen. He saved my soul and I am safe. The troubles I face and the fights I victor He earns the glory. I was gracious enough  have loved Him from early on assisted by my elders prayers for me as I developed in my mother's womb.
I yearned for a relationship before I could spell the word.
I close my eyes and I imagine the middle age, rapidly aging man, homeless living in Grand Central Terminal Station. I imagine the day his mother discovered his pregnancy and the smile on her face as she shared the news with her closest girl friend. His first day in school, his fear and his triumph. His teen-age years, the experimentations, disappointments, failures and confusion. The people he loved, the people he lost and all in between. I wonder where the bright youngster turned to a sure future of despair. One day I will muster up the courage to ask. I will be sure to have a hot sandwich and a cold beverage close by.
I heard the man of God say whether you fail or succeed in life it will be because of who you chose to honor or dishonor.
When I was homeless a living in a youth crisis center, I chose to dishonor quite a few people, but I called a name. The precious name of Jesus! He came to see about me and made my burden light. He picked me up, dusted me off, and directed me to a new start. I'd loved to say I was completely delivered and I never dishonored anyone ever again, but that would be far from the truth.
That reminds me of the time(s) I disappointed those that have passed.
You notice that? When your young it's so cool to be so busy/too busy for the people you love and that are priceless. Wow, I'm such a big cry baby! As the tears roll down my right check I remember disappointing my Great Grandmother, a fascinating, God fearing,interseccorary prayer warrior, beautiful, tell it like it T-I-IS kinda woman. Always on time and extremely generous. She lived to the ripe old age of 96 and was sharper than a tact.  I will write one day exclusively about her.
I was to go to her home after her Sunday service. She made vanilla pudding, my childhood favorite. She included vanilla wafers and all, so sweet. I loved her! Her deserts were like her love, oh so sweet. I loved her! Sweet love the kind only a grandmother can give, a seasoned love, unconditional, know how to love on you kinda love. As the inconsiderate, selfish," too busy" young lady that I was, I failed to appear and when I knew I wasn't going , had the nerve not to call. The next day the phone rang, it was Mother Dear. I was frozen and carried to the phone anyway. I prepared myself for a lashing, and to my surprise she was as composed as if I'd never stood her up cool as a cucumber. She allowed me to talk about whatever I wanted to and how I was doing. As the conversation concluded she said Ah Shawna-Boo, You can't go around disappointing people like that now. If you say you're going to be someplace you should be there. All I could say was sorry Mother Dear. It cut me deep. I wouldn't know how deeply until she passed a few short months after.
Before I flood my apartment with regretful tears, the point I am making tonight is if it had not been for the Lord we don't know where we might be and with this very important piece of information keep it close to your chest. You and I are just one Jesus away form being just like those that we place a quarter in there cups during our busy commutes. Also slow down, take a moment for your family members, stretch yourself go visit. One day there eyes will close forever,
God Bless You
Sjstyle

She Lite a Candle

An intimate meeting in the dark. A single candle flickers in the distance, soft cool of spring evening breezes blow the dingy drapes. The sound of a dripping kitchen facet and a busy city echo the background. The light scent of nutmeg fill the air. The room is still and everything is out of place. The room filled with well intented projects and her forgotten priorities.
He is absent yet again, after last time was the last time.  The phone rings and she turns away. Tonight will be a meeting of the mind free from any distraction. An introspective analytical honest intuitive glance at herself.
Like a moth to a flame drawn by the fire she gazes longingly at the candle. She remembers the first candle she lite for him in preparation of his long awaited, highly anticipated arrival. He was the special kind, the cross everything off your man wish list kind. She remembers watching the candle pool as the evening grew long and he was an uncertain guest. She blew out the candle  before heading to bed, he arrived much later.
She remembers the flame she lite in a drunken stupor , after a night on the town with the girls. The intention was to forget him girl he wasn't worth it anyway type of occasion. He broke your heart and left with her type of occasion. The foolish antics of the young. The memories float to the top of the drinking glass and you swallow each one of them. Sometimes you look right at them without recognition. Only for the liquid memories to reunite with you later joined with your favorite love song about heart ache and pain and leak from your tear ducts uncontrollably.
She remembers apologizing to him for not being as pretty as the other girls and promising to do better. Wishing, hoping and praying to be more beautiful, more like them. Cursing her own mother's womb and the man she choose as a suitable mate. Had SHE only choose someone more beautiful maybe then she'd face a chance at a pretty face. She knew! She would work really hard, save her money, and lay her body  on the plastic surgeons table for slather. He thought it a great idea. They went home and lite a candle before she made love to him.
His request increased, after the slather he wanted to invite another women into their bed. She agreed. She never lite another candle in their bedroom after that night.
She remembered candle lite bubble baths and relaxing good nights. His inability to relax an her waking to an empty house. Intoxicating days followed by lonely nights. She remembered her naked body and the scent of him on her sitting up in the bed and the sheets she griped tightly covering herself as she hung her head and cried into them. She couldn't remember when she stopped crying before another something happened. She got used to the movement of the candle and the something to look at in the room other than the pink elephant. She knew many candles ago like the flame he too was dangerous for her.
 She touched the flame. It burned her a little more each time.
She remembered her life-less body awaking with his hands releasing her neck, she had embarrassed him in front of his friends a few hours earlier. She was no longer allowed to accompany him while out with friends, she lite a candle before bed.
Holding her face watching the blood pour down her arms and splash into pools on the bathroom floor from her elbows, she stood up. Looked herself in the mirror, dazed. She could see him in the corner of her eye. He was sorry. The E.R resident doctors found seven broken bones. She would spend Christmas alone, hiding her abuse. She curled up in the fetal position under the Christmas this time, unable to go out and purchase a candle.
Why would tonight be any different? Because she sat and pondered on it? Because she cried a little harder? She was unsure. She would start by cleaning the cluttered rooms in her environment, physically and mentally.
If you are at all like her you can light a candle for yourself and your wellness. Place your hands together as you would when you pray. Open them just enough to allow your nose and mouth to fit inside. Whisper to yourself and listen to the sound of your own voice. Say it, Say listen to the sound of your own voice, listen to the sound of your own voice, listen to the sound of your own voice!
God Bless You
Be Encouraged
Sjstyle

Always learning, Always Growing

After I titled this piece ALWAYS LEARNING, ALWAYS GROWING. I thought to myself , wow, you should use this title for a post after you graduate and share your emotions from this new perspective. Immediately I was reassured to continue. The blessings of the Lord addth NO sorrow and there is more than enough abundance to go around. There is No scarcity or Lack in God's Kingdom and as his child I am a shareholder and entitled to a piece of this never ending pie.
 I met a beautiful woman of color on yesterday an God brings people in your life when you need them most. I was in a wind tunnel of constant disappointment and this petite 60 something gentle, soft spoken women helped me flip the power switch in this proverbial tunnel and see the light at  the end of the tunnel. I couldn't see it for all the wind in my face and I couldn't remember the positive affirmations I'd rehearsed time and time again in past moments of pain I'd learned while hiding my face under the covers. My vision was cloudy , my mind was confused. Thank you Maritiza!!
She spoke with me and shared her life, In  passing she made a comment in my ear shot. She said the minute you think your life is over, its only beginning. So I teasingly responded, How are you so sure? I caution you be careful when you ask a question especially to an elder, they have been down the road you are traveling they just may give you a powerful answer filled with strength courage and wisdom.
Maritiza said because two years ago I couldn't walk. I had breast cancer, and the Chemo was killing me, but here I am today shopping, spending my own hard earned money, cancer free. I never thought I'd be able to do this nor did I think I'd ever have any money. I thought my life was over. When your on the path you get up in the morning go about your day an hope, one day, things will be different. I'm here to tell you that everyday you get up you are securing a sure future. Everyday is a chance for a new beginning, a chance to start over. She said you need to start over sometimes and sometimes your forced to start over. She used Maria Schriver as an example. She said look at this woman, beautiful , smart, the total package , in love, married to a man for twenty some odd years just to find he has been betraying her trust for decades and with several woman,  to add insult to injury unprotected, one of the women lived in her home with her husbands  love child. Now what do you think she's going to do? Shimble up and die? Absolutely not, she will start again. You never know what kind of box the present gift will be wrapped in. One morning after 14 years of marriage and two children my husband confessed to me he was gay. Again I started again, an I am growing, I am learning, I am doing! I do things I like, that make me happy. My eyes began to water. She reached out to me. She said now don't get me wrong with tears in her eyes your going to cry and your going to stain your shirt with tears, invest in waterproof mascara. We smiled as we instinctively and collectively placed a finger at the base of our eyes to keep the tears from falling as women sometimes do when it kind of hurts inside but,this is not the place nor the time to mess up our make up and jump feet first into the ugly cry.
She said my youngest is in his 40's and I tell him I love him, I show him I love him. I live in love. I have remarried and my husband sometimes fusses with me for spending so much time collecting orchard's. I tell him I absolutely must. This is what I love to do.
I shared with her my love of writing , fashion, color, artistic harmony, and creativity. I keep some of me for me and I am so filled with guilt for my inability to physically share the same space with my children as much as I'd like and it kills me and I sometimes want to have someone else raise them...................................................................................................................................................excuse me, my natural rain began to fall.  She hugged me. She told me she loved me, She said you are right God did send me here today for you. She said when I was your age I had to leave my children with there abusive father because I wouldn't let him beat me,( I thought about my great grandmother , she had a similar story) but I told him they will know me and they will know what you are. I was later able to reunited and pick up where I left out. Children are much more forgiving than adults. They are closer to God. When you are with them she continued ,tell them you love them, kiss them, hug them. I told her I would never do it they made me who I am, I can't believe I phatnomed the thought. Its OK she said I love you, God loves you and love is more than enough to cover a thought. Jesus left us to prepare a place for us. You are preparing for your family also.
So I said let me make sure I have this, pray, love, do what you love to do and you can always start again, go for it and go with the flow? Martiza said yes you are so beautiful, you remind me of myself when I was young. You are going to make it!!!! We hugged a sincere hug and exchanged numbers, but if we never call each other I got the message!!!
 Maritiza thank you for sharing your life with me. I am encouraged to walk this road. When the winds pick up I will flow with them I will keep my eyes wide, blink when necessary and lean on my loved ones who are walking right beside me.
Use your resources. Chat with your Big Auntie's, Grandma's and the Mother's on the Mother Board of your church. Learning from them can help you with the challenges you face and help with the anguish you feel.
God Bless You !!!
Be Encouraged
Sjstyle

Things Happen

As a child I would always threaten to run away if things didn't go my way. That's it!!! I would say. No more spankings for me. Now as an adult I rolled the idea around in my head. What would happen if I ran away and never came back? Where would I go? Would I start a new identity? How would I manage all the pain and loss of my closest family and friends. How would they manage in my absence?
I was such a drama queen as a child I even threatened to kill myself. I was dealing with a great deal of trauma indeed but I had no idea how final suicide really was.
Yes, I admit it as an adult I've also thought about suicide in some of my darkest and deepest corners of my mind. I realize when I was thinking these preposterous thoughts the enemy was having a field day on my thoughts and making me to believe I didn't have freedom an authority over the situations. I've experienced sexual abuse, a cheating partner, domestic violence , poverty, homelessness and racism just to name a few. Now when my backs up against the wall, I wrap myself in love for myself. I love on me a little bit as my mentor Lisa Nichols would say. I feel my heart beating so freely and the breathe flowing through my body. I am an authentic individual with a colorful personality and a liberating since of style. I am perfect as perfect can be. I am smart, I am beautiful , I am lovely, I am going to make it. If I end the story too early the very best part of this book will remain unwritten. So as long as my hearts beating and I'm breathing I will allow it to. You be sure to do the same. I know the futures scary, so what! Hold your head high anyway. Most of the things I do, I'm shivering in my boots over but I do them anyway. Learn to live and overcome any challenge fearful an all.
God Bless You
Sjstyle

Happy Birthday, MOMMY'S BABY !!!

Some days I wanna place a melody to my blogs or sing an angelic song. Some feelings are inadequately expressed with words alone. I want to belt at the top of my lungs on the highest floor of the tallest skyscraper in New York City, high above the clouds, smog, noise and traffic.Scream louder than the raging winds and stand firmer than the gusty bellows of ferocious nature. I will do my best to adequately express this feeling.  My first born child will be 4 in about two weeks. He is an enchanting child, with the spirit of a warrior and the eyes of an angel. Smarter than most and an appetite for knowledge. Unto me a male child was born.
I think back to four years ago, and where I was. I was filled to the tippy top of my being with fear. Thoughts of failure and what a  disappointment of a mother I would be to this price-less piece of God's glory. I was so worried mostly everyday. My body was unfamiliar to me. I was immediately taken over by this person. I called my boyfriend at the time, who is now my husband into the bathroom and showed him the pregnancy test. We hugged, smiled at one another and laughed. I was a wreck on the inside, smiling all the while.
This baby began to grow and I became crazier by the minute. I was so lonely, so alone and I had so much going on on the inside. I began to connect with myself,  turn to him, my baby boy for comfort. He was there for me. I was so terribly sad one day at four months as was becoming the usually. I had been home bound for months do to my overwhelming morning sickness, left my meaningless retail job, on a "break" from school, and a serial telephone user. This was so depressing.
Before becoming pregnant I was the life of the party with the cutest outfit on , and the highest heels my face was beat honey but life seemed to go on without me and the party I got started hadn't missed a beat. I missed me. Who was I anyway? I was so confused. Did I want this baby? I just knew he (my boyfriend) really wasn't going to marry me know. I was nothing more than a statistic. How did I get here? I needed a drink, but I couldn't drink. Aughhhh! I was nothing to anyone and anything and here I am growing a life.
A few minutes after 6am this incredible beakon of hope in my belly moved. He was four months. It was as if the inside of me reached up and grabbed me. Wiped the tears from my eyes, He said I need you! I do!I can't make it without you! I won't! I'm here and I wanna come home with you. I can't wait to meet you. No one will ever love me more than you, I can't be without you! I hugged my belly,he was nothing without me? I was so in love. I wanted him in my life. From that very moment I have been a firm believer of what love can do. I am so grateful for him and so thankful. I love you baby!
My husband would always wonder why I would cry whenever the baby would cry or whenever he looked me in my eyes, why  I breast feed him for so long and why the song long distance by Brandy produced such an emotional response from me and its simply because this baby saved me from me. Through his birth I was given the excuse I needed to explain the not drinking, life is a party personality I was carring around.I didn't have to run to the club, pretend to be happy. Be mean to you to keep you at arms reach. I didn't need to pretend anymore.
Thank you sweetie, mommy is so happy to have you. I commit to you that I will take appropriate, risks I will make we decisions , keep your feelings in mind and always make you a priority! What a difference 4 years can make!
God Bless
Sjstyle

Is it Worth It?

A dream, a sightings , a vision, a premonition, a prophecy, a prediction, a forecast, a wish on a shooting star,  a hope, an idea, a prayer, all quite similar. What's the difference if any? Like the rain cleanses the earth and provides an open door to the possibilities of growth and life. So do the tears on the your pillow, soaking your face and making it hard to breathe. Dreams are made from the stuff. Hopes aspirations wishes all the above.
I close my eyes and I think of all the many dreams I've dreamt and the due diligence it took to manifest them. I remember embellishing my resume, applying for job after job, plowing the pavement daily in heels seeking and searching for a suitable apartment, studying until the wee hours of the night for entrance exams into colleges, then working my behind off to graduate with honors, lugging my pregnant body to Lamaze classes, enduring countless hours of labor twice and in the very end it was all so worth it.
Sometimes I feel low and I hang my head way way down where no one else can see me. If I could get under the floor I would do that too , just like an Ostrage. I get discouraged and want to feel bad for myself and the"mess" of the life I've created. I cry and cry and cry some more. Don't let a sad song come on, that's it, wake up with swollen eyes. People ask me are you OK, and I respond yeah! Why? Don't I look cute? Is my mask crooked, my cover up fading, my slip showing, my true self illuminating through the plastic bag with a hole in the bottom phony "fine" response I gave you. I think to myself that you don't really wanna know whats "wrong" with me.  Or what turmoil I'm living through to get to my destiny. Some days I suffer ALL day long just to lay in bed at night and be tormented the more. It may be to heavy for you to carry along with your own stuff so I keep it light for you and give a safe none sincere response. No since talking about something that will be a distant memory tomorrow. You see all
 my dreams, my sightings, my visions, my premonitions, the prophecies I've received, forecast all of my wishes on shooting stars, prayers, hopes, and ideas will indeed come to pass.
If you are anything like me and you have the type of journey that makes you cry, buckles your knees, clench your fists, gasps in horror,  scream if your mad enough and search the four corners of your mind to figure something out, anything out, make a way out of no possible way. I applaud you , because we are in training. On the battle field if you will. Chills run through my body as I type this, confirmation. Take a deep breath, breath back into your own body and hear my voice in the sound of your own voice crystal clearly. You are much closer than you realize! Hold on! It won't be much longer now! When someone asks you how are you, do like I do , continue to say Fine. You can even say Fantastic! Speak it into existence, because before you know it you will be looking in the mirror of your bathroom in your brand new home, you will be fastening your children's seat belts in your brand new car, you will be accepting a diploma from the President of your school whom is honored to meet your acquaintance. Hold on! Soon you will purchase your groceries and the women's behind you next in line, pay your bills six months in advance, have the special gathering in your backyard as you smile nestled comfortably in your husbands arms, swinging together on your patio deck sipping an icy beverage over looking the pool, festivities and fun. Tastes so sweet!  SOON! We will say it was so worth it! Hold on.
God Bless You
Thank You for Reading
Sjstyle

Family Bunion

Some things are common and particularly relative to a group, gender, race, or family. We joke about them, loathe them or even suffer do to their effects. In my family most of the women develop what we call the family bunion. Its not the prettiest I must say, an can be painful in the wrong shoe. However its a bonding experience between the women. We can relate an understand one another and the desire to have a seat with out judgement or ridicule.We laugh about our family bunions and compliment the shoes we are wearing knowing that its making the concern chronically worse. Does that  make sense? I don't think so, especially considering that we(women) dress to impress one another.
I have made it a point to purchase shoes that don't hurt my feet and that are no more that 3 inches high. I have my special occasion shoes but  I am not expected to run around the city in them for 5-8 hours at a time with a plastic smile like nothings wrong. Uh huh my feet hurt and I am a mess. No More. If you have a family bunion I encourage you to save yourself . Your fellow partners in crime will be sure to follow suit. You can find shoes just as cute offered in lower heel heights. Google search them out.
The family bunion won't go away but it won't get any bigger and you won't feel its presence every step of your day.You can smile again from within, find new and more self esteem building ways to bond with your family and your girls.Who knows you may even start a new trend for future generations!
Long live the Walton's, Jones', Moore's, Washington's, Nichols',Lassiter's, Celestine's, and insert your last name here!
God Bless You
Sjstyle

Deep Breath

As a writer I find it imperatively important to be honest. I have come into the understanding that we all endure trauma an a treatment for the torture that comes with the shame and anxiety is sharing with like minded others. People that have walked a mile in your shoes and can understand your brokenness. I pray my children will never be able to fully understand the reason my eyes get watery at the beginning of a Stevie Wonder song or why I roll my eyes when I see a mechanic dressed in a grease stained navy blue overall uniform with his name stitched on the front. Some of my posting may be too heavy to disguise or more than you bargained for as a reader. I understand. Feel free to walk away from my truth at your leisure, but before you go know that just because you close your eyes, bow your head or turn and walk away it does nothing to the reality.
I love to listen to piano solo's as I write . Writing's are also a piece of music to my ears. Sometimes I am so overwhelmed by the piece I begin to cry. Have you ever cried out loud to a song? Did it make you think of that special someone, or not so special someone? I feel my heart beat slow down, grow two sizes to big for my chest cavity and weight 5 pounds. It's funny how music can do that to you. Remind you of a time when...I am reminded of a time when I was 9 years old. Just thinking about being nine makes me cry. I would forever be changed, my life would be completely different in every single way. I would be a knowing little girl. To know better is to do better , however if you know something before your scheduled to it can prove catastrophic. Speed you up even, especially as a child.
 I was much like I am today. A peoples person, warm, funny, loving, talented in several ways and a dreamer. Back then I didn't think much about boys or how my body appealed to them. I knew my Auntie was a beautician and I went to her shop every Saturday to get my hair done. A press and curl. It was the most stressful forty-five minutes. Holding my ears down to avoid third degree burns and sitting as still as a statue, just to get burned anyway by the steam and cause an uproar in the entire salon. Funny now when I think about it. I would jump out of that chair with the cape on screaming and crying holding the side of my head shouting "YOU BURNED MEEEEEE!!!!" My aunt would reply, "Oh child that wasn't nothing but the steam from the hot comb. Come sit your behind back in this chair so I can finish your hair." It was what little girls were supposed to do.
I had a close group of friends, play cousins and classmates. We would sing songs, pretend to be the girls in the groups practice the latest dance moves , have sleep overs where no one slept. I loved to run in the open fields, roll down the hill until I was all itchy and covered in grass stains. Compete to see who could swing the highest. Celebrate our first pubic hair and the interesting lumps developing under our chest. Mine had a very relaxed approach. I thought they'd never show up. We would play board games and have girl talk.We would discuss our plans for our futures. How we were doing in our classes and who was cute.
During one of our girl talks I had a topic of conversation none of us should ever have had to discuss. You see my school had  implemented a "Family Life" program, this program was designed to educate us on our developing bodies, menstruation, the male anatomy, sex and pregnancy. During this class some of the images were all too familiar to me and I was not as surprised as the other little girls. I was surprised to find out that my mother's mechanic boyfriend placing his erect penis and hands in between my thighs was very wrong unlike what he'd told me and I should only be doing these things with someone I loved as an adult. The program was very clear and described molestation, and incest quite clearly. I sunk a little lower into my seat. My eyes had been opened. I was ashamed. The facilitator instructed us to notify an adult if we or someone we know has been molested or raped. She also cautioned us that the pedophiles are usually the ones we trust and not lurking in the shadow's of back alley's at night. My friends hugged me and cried with me. They promised not to tell and wondered when I was going to tell. I didn't know when.I was afraid my mother would be so mad at me and what I was doing while she was at work. He told me she would be furious and not believe me. I hated what he was doing to me and he was starting to hurt me physically, he was becoming ever the more aroused by my submission and now trying to penetrate my 9 year old 65 pound body.
I would wait for mommy to be in a good mood. Wow, I remember thinking this thought like it was yesterday. I had no idea that her good mood would come so soon.
I called her into my room, it was late in the evening and close to bedtime. I sat on my top bunk and looked down at my mother's beautiful smiling face and unsuspecting eyes. I thought maybe tomorrow would be better. My mother noticing my hesitation gently held my hand. "Yes baby?" I began to quiver. "Mommy I have something to tell you" I continued. "Tony has been touching on me.""What do you mean touching on you?""Touching on me...down there and the other day there was this snot thing on the bed when he got off of me."I said. My mother took me off of the top bunk picked me up and squeezed me tightly we began to sob. She looked me in the face and asked me ever so sincerely from her heart with her face soaked with tears as one dripped from her chin, "Why didn't you tell me?" I shrugged my shoulders and said"I thought  you'd be mad at me.
ohhh nooo baby" in a sing song tone. "I'm so happy you told me."She rocked me, I was her baby.
The next morning before school a white, chubby, balding male detective was in my apartment asking me questions. This was the beginning of my resiliency.
Share your struggles with the people you know the young women you come in contact with. Take them by the hand and say you are not your past you are stronger for it and you can decide to be the best you! Make who you are shine like the sun. Take a deep breath and connect with you on the inside. Make her greater. Educate yourself, walk for the March of Dimes, Donate to the Susan G. Kowen Foundation. Love on yourself by caring for yourself.
I love you, Keep reading
God Bless You.
Sjstyle

In an instant. There are several things that are instant. Unfortunately one could be in a car crash and be killed in an instant. You have instant coffee, instant oatmeal, instant breakfast. Then you have the almost instant's , like things that are transformed in a minute or less. Say for instance minute rice or someone obtaining over night success. The critically acclaimed...sensation! I love it! Before you know it your asking yourself whatever happened to so&so?, Here today gone tomorrow, no foundation.
 For things that are not as physical and more metaphysical Mother Oprah has coined the term"aha moments", this means that all of a sudden "it", whatever "it" was hit you and you got it, just like that, in an instant. She also expresses that there are stages of the "aha" moment and that one is never without warning, in the interim of your aha moment it may lightly graze you on the shoulder, the next time it may give you a shove, next a trip landing you on your behind, until it hits you and you get it. One young woman slammed her car into a brick wall as she was texting while driving; she discussed while visiting the Oprah Show. This thing is building daily until it is so clear that you can no longer deny it and say "aha" I've got it now! For her it came with a totaled vehicle, lengthy stay in the hospital, stitches, broken bones, physical therapy and a suspended drivers licences. The funny thing about getting something is you have to maintain it, and your level of thinking to keep it. You have to work, to practice "being" a certain way. The way you desire to experience and enjoy your time here. Reprogram, rearrange, redirect, disengage, love, love from a distance, embrace, withhold, forgive, rewrite, recite, ignite, take action, move, plan, prepare, envision, speak positively, focus, pray.
How enchanting it would be if everything were instant? You could zip through life unscaved and more the merrier for it. Any and everything you could have ever hoped or dreamed of is attainable NOW! No anticipation, no wait, no worry, no sigh of relief. Remember the movie Click with Adam Sandler? If not rent it immediately a must see! Watch it with someone you love. Personally instant living is no way to live at all. You miss the best parts. The triumph comes with the trial. The testimony come with the test! You can have whatever you want by the way, by asking for it, your Heavenly Father is generous. The word of God says, "we have not because we ask not". "If my people would humble themselves and pray".
  A toddlers joy after struggling for days, weeks and months , tears staining their papers and endless eraser reside insured to write their own name is meet after all the agony self doubt can bring with the heart racing, lip biting, sweaty palms and brow moment of victory when they get it right. Do you remember when you wrote your name for the very first time? If not ask your parents, grandparents, older sibling etc. It was fascinating I'm sure!
Lets face it we just no way no how can have everything in an instant. It's easy to deny ourselves certain luxury pieces like the latest in handbags or shoes, designer threads or luxury vehicles. There are companies that will rent you the runway, but who wants to have a beautiful designer dress that they can only wear once for the price of a brand new dress that they can keep and wear multiple times and occasions? Clearly several people do because this is a very popular website.  Not exactly my cup of tea. If you don't have the cash and or credit you simply can not make a withdrawal. Yes you can be ever so patient, careful with your spending and save to reach your goals, sacrificing every chance you get and cut corners, but there is work involved in this option.  When you work you get a reward. I spend a heavy portion of my week thinking about this blog and how I can keep the content true to form. How I can continually and intentionally relate the experiences of life to fashion. Sometimes I'm dead on and other times not so much, please bear with me. The point I'm making here today is that instant isn't "better" per-say. Instance has its place, like everything else. When your 16 you want to be 21 and when your 48 you want to be 16 again, with your 48 year old body of knowledge of course! Everything evolves but at its own rate. This instant is only now and that's all it will ever be. It will never be sooner nor later.
Thank You For Reading
God Bless You
Sjstyle

Two Left Feet !

Ever wonder why people sit around pondering why someone else didn't do something? Why someone else didn't say something? Or better yet why you didn't do or say the "right " thing. Give your self a break, and the other person as well, after all life is exciting and you never know what will happen one moment to the next , so how could you possibly be that witty to always has the right thing to say at the right time? There are Marketing companies that pay top dollar for large and small groups of people to work tirelessly day in and day out to do this for them. You and I however do not have this luxury,and life is occurring as we are pondering and figuring and wondering. Waiting for our response to switch to the very next sequence of events. Can you believe it! You are the author and the finisher of your own life. I forget who's quote that belongs to however you get the idea. Each word , every action or inactive step you make sets the tone for the next moment. I heard the Man of God say, " Wheather you succeed or fail in life will depend upon whom you choose to honor or dishonor." With this jewel in mind keep the focus on what is occuring whom you are around and not what you think should or could or would have occured if only... Let's not waste valuable time pondering why? Don't get me wrong, Why is a valid question just not an important question. God is in control and ALL things work together. He is preparing you for whats to come.Trust. I've found myself in this vicious cycle and intangled in its spinning web of misery and anxiety. I've done it with even the most mundane subjects, like why didn't I wear the navy blue shoes with that white dress or why am I wearing these earrings again? One of my all time favorites though is wondering why he didn't call? What could he possibly be doing that he would forget to call me, me of all people. That's as wrong as two left feet! I sit and listen to people mostly women chatter on there phones in public places about the most personal topics and like clock work the question of why pops out like a jack in the box. Why this? Why that? Why not! As I listen to them I hear the sound of my own whiny, wimpy, baby, victim voice and I wanna slap myself. I am learning to embrace people no matter how selfish, immature, obnoxious, or delusional they are. I encourage you to do the same.
God Bless You
Sjstyle

Loss

As a child I had a coat that I loved dearly. A birthday gift from my most favorite, stylish, Auntie. She was a business woman and a boss. She dressed like money and was successful, a hair dresser, and I loved everything she put on. The coat was a reversible one, one side denim and the other side fur. Real fur! Exciting I know, don't judge me, after all this was the early nineties, we didn't know what to wear. I'm sure you've had a few fashion fauw-pas as well. Cross Colors ring a bell anyone? None the less this was a special coat, I never saw anyone else in it, all my own and I loved it. People would compliment me and I felt good about myself in it , there was nothing I couldn't achieve in this coat. People would also identify me in it and ask me about it when I wasn't wearing it. "Hey, where's that nice coat you had on the other day", they'd inquire.I was appropriately dressed for any occasion, I was the bell of the ball. I eventually outgrew this piece and my heart was broken.
In the fashion industry trends come in and out. We lose and gain a little weight. Mis-read the labels and wash our piece improperly, store them incorrectly in our closets during winter or summer months, go off on vacations and leave them behind and are unable to adorn our favorite pieces. The pieces we live our lives in, share a special lunch with friends in, attend one another's weddings in, and baby showers. When you really love something you feel the loss and mourn in its absence. Especially if its irreplacable , kinda like our loved ones.
I've been spared and have endured few deaths in my immediate family thankfuly. However the few I have lost were significant people in my life. My Father and my Great-Grand Mother, major major losses. I remember losing my father, he was a handsome, funny, giving, loving man. When he passed he was thirty-three, it was sudden. I immediately remember me sitting on the side of the tub as he brushed his teeth. I'd never seen anyone brush their teeth so neatly. I would watch him closely. He was my favorite show and this was one of my favorite episodes.  He would brush vigorously , then take his top teeth to scape the tooth paste foam from the bottom lip and sides of his mouth as a squeegee would a wet glass window, then continue to brush. He was heroic. He was all my own , he was love. When he wrapped his arms around me I felt safe, I felt like I had a number one fan. I was celebrated in his presence. He anticipated my arrival and enjoyed every word I had to say. He would play Stevie Wonder songs and sing along mimicking every word perfectly with his angelic voice to me as he mopped the living room floor , and I was captivated. He was so understanding and compassionate in terms of anything that concerned me.
The last time I saw him he cryed as he hugged me goodbye and I wondered why he was crying. I would have cryed too and held on a little longer and squeezed a little harder if I'd known this was goodbye for good.
I got the news once I got home from middle school. I can only imagine my mothers anxiety as she passed me the phone. It was my Aunt Debbie in New York. She wanted to speak to me. He passed the night before. How could this be? Superheros don't die! I started to internalized that thing and evaluate the full extent of the damage it would cause. I didn't have a father. I was so angry I wanted to kick something. I wanted to kick a garbage can and run down the streets spreading garbage , dibre, wreak havoc all the while screaming why! How could you leave me ? We have so much more to do! I'm so alone! Who will protect me now??? Stand in the middle of the mid-night sky, arms out stretched, close my eyes, tilt my head back facing the moonlite sky, allow the tears to run down the sides of my face, filling my ear drums, overflowing and dripping from my ear lobes. Producing authentic tear drop earrings if you will. Spilling into poodles, which would  turn into mud that I could sit in and cover myself with. Because I didn't care and nothing mattered anymore. The one man who loved me without condition was no more. I was devastated. I learned to settle those emotions by not internalizing them, but releasing them and crying whenever I needed to.
Here we are some twenty years later and some days are harder than others however it is well with me and I am healing nicely.
So like my Father and my Great Grandmother your favorite garments one day will be a thing of the past, nothing more than a treasured memory, coupled with beautiful photographs. Treat them well, and enjoy them for this time.
Thank you for allowing me to share.
God Bless You
Sjstyle

Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

  You know how you ponder that moment when the stars will align and it will finally happen! The thing that you have dreamed of, hoped for! Prayed and sowed a seed for, wished on a shooting star for, thrown a penny in the wishing well for, and crossed your fingers for. Well that moment is happening for me. I've pictured it in my mind realilisticly as a sudden shock and an instant jolt of joy. It's more like a gradual sequence of events. One by one strategicly and methodicly evolving into this all consuming ball of energy. Wrapping itself around me like a cloak of warmth and protection, adoring me as a Queen in my palace. Filled with the colors of gold, white, purple, luxe and beautiful, long and sweeping the floor as I sway about. Causing confusing and envy in the unlearnt eye. How does that effect you you might ask? I am now out of your way. You are next in line.
Have you ever put yourself out there and on display for others to view? For example a new hair do, school play, a talent school, a spelling bee or fashion show. Okay so if so its like I'm on stage now and your next to go. Brace yourself.
Time to get comfortable being uncomfortable. Success demands it! You can have what you want. You just have to be fearless enough to go and obtain it. "Ask for what you want -even at the risk of getting it."
-Anonymous
If you've read any of the interviews of top designers there stories are quite similar. No one believed in them , or they had been working at this thing for sometime to no aval.  They kept on believing and kept on producing, kept on creating, and then , one day, it happened. Keep your faith and keep your eyes focused on your vision, do not sell yourself short or talk yourself out of your blessing.
God Bless You.
Sjstyle

Woe is me , I am only human, and by saying only I give the illusion of  an insufficient "man". When the word says I am wonderfully and beautifully made. The voices inside one's head tell lies that unfold in the dark. We choose to believe other peoples opions of us over our own. Who knows who better? When I tell my three year old son vegetables give him muscles and make him stronger he believes me and tries out his new knowledge of his new found strength. Like him you and I were also three once. Where did that confidence go and can it be salvaged?
I watched the Red Carpet Reviews of the Oscars. I watched it with the television muted with a tranquil melody playing in the background. Soft music makes the most mundane occasion dramatic. I wanted to enjoy the parade of people in elaborate designer creations without any interruptions from the Na-Sayers. I wanted to take it all in. These are pieces I would not have been available for my eyes to enjoy if not for these people and there celebration. I looked in the eyes of Scarlett Johannson , Michelle Williams, Nicole Kidman, and Jennifer Hudson. Now better known as J. Hud. Just to name a tiny few. J. Hud, celebrated for losing over 80 pounds, and consoled for having tragically lost her mother and nephew is a most horrific manner, just a short time ago. However because her breast appeared to be in an uncomfortable predicament , she was worst dressed. What happened to the compassion we had for this woman?
These women set there minds to do something and are fulfilling there purpose. I imagine them practicing there lines in the bathroom of an important audition just before there name was called, singing for anyone who would listen, working on this project and that just to have it fall flat until finally, depriving themselves brownies to fit into the wardrobe selected for them for a body-type only a mannequin should have to replicate, and praying with clinched fist to be good enough. Tears dripping from their chin from another failed call-back. Wishing on shooting stars for  people to like them and maybe , one day love them. Spend time and money perfecting there craft in the hopes of one day being applauded for there tireless efforts and have there names remembered.
I must admit I too am guilty of criticizing, and tearing down another woman. I have learned from my mistakes. I've learned that in tearing her apart I also hurt. I now put even more pressure on myself to be something I was never intended to be and with any mercy we will live on this Earth for sometime, one day that woman you 've judged could be you.
As I watched these million dollar women sway across the red-carpet of  agony I envisioned myself breathing there breath and looking out of there eyes. It was exhilarating and I felt like Cinderella at the Ball. The air was fresh, newness resonated through the atmosphere. I was amongst societies elite. I was confident, attractive, rich, famous, all the above. I also was nominated for the umpteenth time with no win an wearing an "off the runway" design worn best by the model.
When is good enough, good enough? Designer dresses are marvelous. Fashion is art and everyone is intiled to there own interpretation of it. We put these people up on a pedestal just to watch them come crashing down. I thought we were a civilizted nation, not blood thirsty savages.
Give up the, "I love you as long as..." attitude and adopt a more neutral approach. After all these are the people that give us the words to say, when they just won't come out right in the songs they create. They show us ourselves in the roles they play on scene. Don't we owe them a little appreciation?
Think about it
sjstyle

Handle With Care

In the fashion industry the garments you purchase have fiber content tags and care labels. It is a  Federal Offense, punishable through the court of law, to produce clothing without this information, fine's even jail time are possibilities.
The fiber content and care labels carry tremendously important information, if with held one  would be disappointment and could mis-maintain their garment.
The fiber content labels also explain to you the rational of the purchase price and the quality of the article.
The care labels guide you through the preservation of your piece. Whether or not this item washes well or dry clean only. Wash with similar colors, add bleach, or  lay flat to dry. These minor strips of fabric are imperative for the optimal performance and preservation of the life-span of your garment.
People, you and I , are quite similar in that we are composed of different fibers. We are grown in the image of our experiences. Spun threw the spinneret of inconsistency and woven, knitted and tufted though heart ache, pain and joy.  
Some of us have matured into tolerant, durable fabrics, like denim or wool. We've been beaten, worn, and dis-stressed just to name a few, and we come out looking wiser for the wear, oh so stylish, trendy and vintage. Applauded for our resiliency all the while falling apart at the seams.
  Some of us have matured into more delicate fabrics like , chiffon, or charmusse. Soft , delicate to the touch but lacking any type of substance. Like a beautifully crafted gown. Some of us are over done and intimidating to possible suitors.  Albeit from too much glitter, or too much skin. A subconscious ploy to keep people at arms length because the thought of trying again, one more time for the last time, could snag their train and be unsightly.
The journey of love is an uncertain one, however I encourage you, when you are gracious enough to have someone, please handle with care it is worth it. Listen to them with your eyes. When they speak look them in the eyes. Take note of the changes is their vocal patterns, pay close attention to the stories they share and the music that makes them cry. The movies that make them laugh and the goals they set to achieve. All of this information are their care label and  maximize the life-span of your relationship.
Even the most durable knits have a bursting limitation.
Every pair of jeans you purchase with enough abrasion will eventually sprout a hole.
In the words of Otis Redding, try a little tenderness.
love you,God Bless
sjstyle

The Morning

I heard the man of God say Joy cometh in the morning!
I think that has a lot to do with your attitude. Think positive things and they will be drawn to you. Speak life into your morning! Today will be a great day! Your conscientiousness of the dawning of a new day and the endless possibilities that insue will prove to be invaluable.
How do you start your day?
How will you represtent yourself to your world today?
If you look good you feel good, and good things will happen for you. I'm sure you've heard this before and if not its true.
 What if you have an issue? What if your hair won't cooperate or your skin is under attack? You can STILL feel good.
I'm not sure if your familiar with the skin treatment Accutane, but I've used this product. It's a five month treatment (sometimes longer) that makes your Acne miserably worst before getting tremendously better, glorious even. I had to walk around NYC with a face full of Acne and smile. I even had a successful job interview during the treatment. I faked it until I saw what I was feeling. You can too.
If your hair is non-compliant feel free to wear a decorative silk head scarf or fancy hat. Wigs are so in for the Spring, try on a few and have them close by, just in case. How you doing? (Thanks Wendy !)
If you were lucky enough to check out the Fashion's during the Mercedes Benz Fashion Week, I'm sure you were inspired. The looks are relaxed and soft. Flowy skirts and bellowy blouses with feminine detailing. Bright patterns,clean lines, white's, high waists, flared legs, a-line dresses, animal prints and bad-girl edge.Chunky accessories, shiny nails beare or colored with soft hints of glimmer. 
Take the extra time to press your garments if necessary,spot check for any imperfections, the world will notice.  Before you run out the door say a quick prayer of graditude, smile back at yourself in the mirror today is your day.
This week I've been dressing for the job I want. Modern business causal seperates inspired by the career woman. Mixing neutrals, shades and vibrant silks to create an exciting array of contempary style in preparation of whats to come. You must prepare yourself for success. When the opportunity presents itself you want to be ready.When you fail to plan , you plan to fail. I don't know about you but for me failure is not an option!
 We are judged but our apperance, allow your verdict to be favorable.
Thank You For Reading, tell a friend.
Have a great day!!!
sjstyle

Style Question !!!

Someone asked me how would I describe my personal style. I was honored to have been asked.  I thought what a delightfully thought provoking question. Before I responded  I thought , I don't have a style, I'm a nomad. I pick up things as I go within reason and I don't apologize for my eclectic compilations. Mixing and matching is my middle name. I love fashion jewelry and pretty makeup. Long dark curly lashes and sun-kissed cheek bones, dewy lips and a soft scent. Weather is a heavy influence as well as my mood. My husband points out that I would have so much more time in the morning if I were to pick my clothes out the night before, however I've tried his theory and for me the outfit feels forced and unauthentic. I need to see the morning sun, or clouds, rain, e.t.c to get a true sense of self for this new and enchanting day.  One day I may want to adore rich jeweled tone hues and the next I may want a more muted palette. I enjoy vintage wear, business casual chic, textile variations, and new designers. The more I thought about it the more I discovered I absolutely positively DO have a style. I am fearless and I love Fashion . I describe my personal style as soulful, rustic, trendy and sophisticated on a budget. I am a seventies loving, earth tone wearing, modern boho-chic, minimalist. I love a statement heel and save flats for the beach and laundry day when possible. Needless to say this person walked away.
With the arrival of Spring Fashion's looming I'm most interested in trying some fun , flirty sixties mod-wear. I am a petite fashionista, our gams adore a mini-dress, the tunics sister. These pieces are perfect for day and evening wear. Can be dressed up or down, dependent upon the type of industry you work in , you could possibly sport this look to the office. Accessories are key.
No trend would be complete without appropriately coordinated accessories, and make-up. Handbags are smaller, hats are larger, turbans have returned, sunglasses covet twisted frames, and cosmetics are bold and beautiful. If you haven't found your foundation match already run do not walk run to your local Sephora or Department Stores . Check out the makeup counter's, look at the girls makeup behind the counter the models depicted in the display photos, take note of the color variations. Do they fit your lifestyle? Do you get a good feeling about this product and its price point? Ask question's about ingredients and then ask for a foundation color match. Don't feel pressured to purchase. I assure you,  you are helping the color consultant kill sometime and prefect her/his craft.  If the product is out of your budget you can find a comparable version in your local drug-store. If you need further assistance feel free to message me and I'll guide you every step of the way. You'll be a pro in no time.
How do you describe your personal style?
sjstyle

It's all a trick to keep you from loving yourself and enjoying your brief life, liking your own company and even smiling . Trick you that you will fail so you won't even try. You aren't beautiful or handsome, tall, slim or as wealthy as the God's of this Earth! You know who I mean, the celebrated celebrity. It's a trick to have you measure people from the outside , because who they are lies within. It's a trick to need and want people that can only do "something" for you, because  the key to true fulfillment is in giving.
Whom ever told you to compare yourself to anyone else anyway? Everyone else? The beautiful people, the miserably imprisoned by our over glorification designed only for the Father. Prophet Levar Samuel said, "What is good for God is poison to man."
If the enemy can distract you long enough he can trick you into believing most anything. He will trick you into thinking your invincible, have you drinking as many spirits as you can consume before falling over. Once you fall  and are able to get up  he will confirm your immortality. Just for you to do it again next weekend . Until it gets easier to do and you don't need the weekend, you don't need anyone.
You aren't living unless  you are in the club half naked, or diamonds shining with empty suitors all around. All eyes on me.
 Trick you that smoking is the only way to fully relax, relax from a hard days work or a trying occurrence. Trick you into believing a bad day is more frequent than the good ones, so you dis-spare. He will trick you into entertaining thoughts of suicide because anything has to be better than this! When its all temporary.
He will trick you that you absolutely must take someone else's life, because you don't play. Play, you won't get the chance to, not from behind bars, with your own children .
He will trick you into believing unforgiveness is the best way to prove your point, especially with your family members because they can't talk to you like that. Can't talk to the deceased, while your in the land of the living give them a call. See how they are doing, stop by. You'll wish you had when there eyes close.
We have all been tricked before and some of us are being tricked right now, because he doesn't have any new material.
Remember you are oh so very scared, one of  a kind, oh so very special. Your talents aren't graded on the curve. If he or she is intelligent in no way does that take away from yours, and that is true for everything else too. Albeit wealth, looks, or status. The things we value in this world.
We are here for only a short time, the present is such a gift. Each day it comes wrapped in a brand new box, some joy, some bliss, some tears. Don't fall for the trick. It is all worth it! You can try again,  you can do better the next time. Oprah said,"When you know better you do better." Now you know.
I don't know when it will get better or even easier, but I promise you it will!
Thank You
sjstyle

Listen to the Water

I encourage you to read this piece slowly and participate in the exercises to receive full enjoyment . I thank you in advance for reading and traveling with me. Today is about you. You are amazing and I want you to remember that.
Reading is Listening, Listening with your eyes. Proceed with caution you will complete this blog feeling completely different about yourself than before experiencing it. Allow the love shared to love you. Enjoy.
Close your eyes with me for a moment . Focus on stillness. Open your eyes. Place your left hand over your chest feel your chest rise and fall. Notice the powerful vibration of your very own heart beat. Become one  with the inside of you. Hug yourself for a moment. Give yourself a nice squeeze. Squeeze like your an old good friend you haven't seen in a while for reasons that just could not be helped and the hug is familiar,welcomed and celebrated.
The skin that you are in is the very same skin you were born in. It has spread out a bit however in it you have ... seen things. Some too awful to repeat and others to pleasant not to replay. Rewind them there in your minds eye for a moment too. All of these memories are also apart of the inside you. Like when you rode your first bike or when someone close to you went home to glory.
Your, your mother's child, you have your daddies ways. Your eyes twinkle like your grandmother's and your feet resemble your grandfather's.
Touch your own hands softly and look at them closely. See if you can  identify how each and every scape, bruise  or split nail got there. Its a test to see how well you really know the back of your hand. Hold them together one over the other. Squeeze them together. Remind yourself that, Yes you can have what you want! Yes you can do it! And most importantly, Yes you are good enough! You are a creator, created  by God and like God your hands can manifest greatness, Will you cooperate?
The water is ancient and pre-dates us all. The rain drops you walk in between every now and then cradled under the covering of an umbrella your ancestors have ran through with blood-hounds hot on their trail. The blood that flows through you whispers sweet songs of strength and resilience.
Like water, air is also ancient, Breathed into us divinely by Jesus Christ Himself,our lineage has recycled this breath into us and our lungs are iron clad.
Echo's echos echos of the voices of yesteryear live within our lungs and with every breath we take we radiate confidence. We are a people of great purpose.
Remember where you come from. You are the acceptable prototype.
Conclude this self-exploration by promising to listen to the water. Listen in the shower, rain storm or by the sea.
You are much larger than your physical body,you  are apart of it all. Breath deeply, close your eyes and stretch your arms wide, raise your head to the sky and say thank you. The best is yet to come.
Be Encouraged
sjstyle

What's up with that?

I know if I were you and I saw a blog entitled "fashion forum" I would think that the topics covered within the blog would be about fashion. You would be correct in your assumption if you have pondered this thought. So let us begin shall we?
FASHION, the name itself excites me.I would have loved to name our daughter Fashion but I felt that would be entirely too much pressure for one person to carry, its hard enough being a woman.
Growing up I never fancied my threads so much as we were extremely poor, as many of us were. However it has worked in my favor, humble beginnings inspired desire. Some of my favorite past times include back- to- school and Christmas. The link that binds...shopping! I would color coordinate my pencil case to match my notebooks and my backpack. I remember the year I asked my mother not to purchase dolls anymore, just cloths for Christmas; which I insisted I was present for. A fashionista in the making.
So enough about me, the weather is warming up and so are the fashion trends. In Lu of the Grammy's last night, minus a few all time favorites I was disappointed with what the trend setters brought to the proverbial table.
Fashion and style are oh so very expansive and diverse. There individualized and unique to each of us and our individual body types. It bothers me to see celebrities choose prom queen or street hooker as the only too looks to try out. As an artist it is your obligation to protect your brand/image. We are in the information age try different looks,explore.As should we all. If you have a funky style, or a minimalist style try a boho chic trend, or modified 80's trends and by all means do the classic ten. Theses include a pearl necklace,red lipstick,or a white botton up blouse you can never go wrong .  If you hate it that's OK but at least experience different textile variations, different colors on your skin and something outside of your comfort -zone dare I say"the norm". Everything changes only nothing stays the same. I believe Niche coined this term. Keeping this in mind, change with the times. Stay current . You don't have to follow the trends per-say, but by all means you must look current. Modify and challenge what you think. This is how we learn and grow as people. Always have your own back as Maya Angelo would say.  As you explore fashion variations continue to be true to yourself,feel free to include your favorite staple pieces.
Thank you , that is all
sjstyle

What Say Ye??

Hey ladies and gentlemen. Mostly ladies I'm sure. Not sure if your hip to the Real Housewives of various cities craze, if not you are missing a real treat. Check your local listings,the program airs on the Bravo Network. Tune in as soon as possible so you can keep up with the discussion.
Most recently on the RHWOBH(Real Housewives of Beverley Hills) one of the housewives throw an elaborate white party. Close friends family and friends of close friends.
As a wife I'm cognisant of the friends I embrace and even more of the ones I invite to my home around my family. You have to be It's precious!  Not everyone is singing your praises an celebrating your marriage and or relationship. Some are but others are envious and some have absolutely no respect for  monogamy. They see the picturesque family structure and want to challenge the union.
In the afore mentioned episode an invited guest placed one of the husband's in a seductive head lock and engaged him in a conversation. She questioned him,"Is your wife taking care of you?"
It may surprise you to know if you haven't lived a similar experience that these types of women do exist. This woman was attractive and confident. She may have had a drink or two too many but the question she asked was a sober one.
This brings me back to the title of this blog, What Say Ye?
How would you tackle such a disturbing occurrence? Or how have you in the past?
The wife in the RHWOBH stormed over to the woman from across the room. She told her to get off of her husband and asked her if she wanted a Manolo in the eye? Then told her to get out. Yikes!
I like it,short and sweet.
I was wondering why the husband didn't give the "woman" in question the cold shoulder.
I think a great way to approach a very realistic problem like this is to plan well in advance. Talk about how you handle flirtatious male/female encounters and the ways you'd like your spouse to respond. As you've heard time and time again communication is key.


God Bless You,
always a lady
sjstyle