Thursday, March 31, 2011

Two Left Feet !

Ever wonder why people sit around pondering why someone else didn't do something? Why someone else didn't say something? Or better yet why you didn't do or say the "right " thing. Give your self a break, and the other person as well, after all life is exciting and you never know what will happen one moment to the next , so how could you possibly be that witty to always has the right thing to say at the right time? There are Marketing companies that pay top dollar for large and small groups of people to work tirelessly day in and day out to do this for them. You and I however do not have this luxury,and life is occurring as we are pondering and figuring and wondering. Waiting for our response to switch to the very next sequence of events. Can you believe it! You are the author and the finisher of your own life. I forget who's quote that belongs to however you get the idea. Each word , every action or inactive step you make sets the tone for the next moment. I heard the Man of God say, " Wheather you succeed or fail in life will depend upon whom you choose to honor or dishonor." With this jewel in mind keep the focus on what is occuring whom you are around and not what you think should or could or would have occured if only... Let's not waste valuable time pondering why? Don't get me wrong, Why is a valid question just not an important question. God is in control and ALL things work together. He is preparing you for whats to come.Trust. I've found myself in this vicious cycle and intangled in its spinning web of misery and anxiety. I've done it with even the most mundane subjects, like why didn't I wear the navy blue shoes with that white dress or why am I wearing these earrings again? One of my all time favorites though is wondering why he didn't call? What could he possibly be doing that he would forget to call me, me of all people. That's as wrong as two left feet! I sit and listen to people mostly women chatter on there phones in public places about the most personal topics and like clock work the question of why pops out like a jack in the box. Why this? Why that? Why not! As I listen to them I hear the sound of my own whiny, wimpy, baby, victim voice and I wanna slap myself. I am learning to embrace people no matter how selfish, immature, obnoxious, or delusional they are. I encourage you to do the same.
God Bless You

Thursday, March 24, 2011


As a child I had a coat that I loved dearly. A birthday gift from my most favorite, stylish, Auntie. She was a business woman and a boss. She dressed like money and was successful, a hair dresser, and I loved everything she put on. The coat was a reversible one, one side denim and the other side fur. Real fur! Exciting I know, don't judge me, after all this was the early nineties, we didn't know what to wear. I'm sure you've had a few fashion fauw-pas as well. Cross Colors ring a bell anyone? None the less this was a special coat, I never saw anyone else in it, all my own and I loved it. People would compliment me and I felt good about myself in it , there was nothing I couldn't achieve in this coat. People would also identify me in it and ask me about it when I wasn't wearing it. "Hey, where's that nice coat you had on the other day", they'd inquire.I was appropriately dressed for any occasion, I was the bell of the ball. I eventually outgrew this piece and my heart was broken.
In the fashion industry trends come in and out. We lose and gain a little weight. Mis-read the labels and wash our piece improperly, store them incorrectly in our closets during winter or summer months, go off on vacations and leave them behind and are unable to adorn our favorite pieces. The pieces we live our lives in, share a special lunch with friends in, attend one another's weddings in, and baby showers. When you really love something you feel the loss and mourn in its absence. Especially if its irreplacable , kinda like our loved ones.
I've been spared and have endured few deaths in my immediate family thankfuly. However the few I have lost were significant people in my life. My Father and my Great-Grand Mother, major major losses. I remember losing my father, he was a handsome, funny, giving, loving man. When he passed he was thirty-three, it was sudden. I immediately remember me sitting on the side of the tub as he brushed his teeth. I'd never seen anyone brush their teeth so neatly. I would watch him closely. He was my favorite show and this was one of my favorite episodes.  He would brush vigorously , then take his top teeth to scape the tooth paste foam from the bottom lip and sides of his mouth as a squeegee would a wet glass window, then continue to brush. He was heroic. He was all my own , he was love. When he wrapped his arms around me I felt safe, I felt like I had a number one fan. I was celebrated in his presence. He anticipated my arrival and enjoyed every word I had to say. He would play Stevie Wonder songs and sing along mimicking every word perfectly with his angelic voice to me as he mopped the living room floor , and I was captivated. He was so understanding and compassionate in terms of anything that concerned me.
The last time I saw him he cryed as he hugged me goodbye and I wondered why he was crying. I would have cryed too and held on a little longer and squeezed a little harder if I'd known this was goodbye for good.
I got the news once I got home from middle school. I can only imagine my mothers anxiety as she passed me the phone. It was my Aunt Debbie in New York. She wanted to speak to me. He passed the night before. How could this be? Superheros don't die! I started to internalized that thing and evaluate the full extent of the damage it would cause. I didn't have a father. I was so angry I wanted to kick something. I wanted to kick a garbage can and run down the streets spreading garbage , dibre, wreak havoc all the while screaming why! How could you leave me ? We have so much more to do! I'm so alone! Who will protect me now??? Stand in the middle of the mid-night sky, arms out stretched, close my eyes, tilt my head back facing the moonlite sky, allow the tears to run down the sides of my face, filling my ear drums, overflowing and dripping from my ear lobes. Producing authentic tear drop earrings if you will. Spilling into poodles, which would  turn into mud that I could sit in and cover myself with. Because I didn't care and nothing mattered anymore. The one man who loved me without condition was no more. I was devastated. I learned to settle those emotions by not internalizing them, but releasing them and crying whenever I needed to.
Here we are some twenty years later and some days are harder than others however it is well with me and I am healing nicely.
So like my Father and my Great Grandmother your favorite garments one day will be a thing of the past, nothing more than a treasured memory, coupled with beautiful photographs. Treat them well, and enjoy them for this time.
Thank you for allowing me to share.
God Bless You

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

  You know how you ponder that moment when the stars will align and it will finally happen! The thing that you have dreamed of, hoped for! Prayed and sowed a seed for, wished on a shooting star for, thrown a penny in the wishing well for, and crossed your fingers for. Well that moment is happening for me. I've pictured it in my mind realilisticly as a sudden shock and an instant jolt of joy. It's more like a gradual sequence of events. One by one strategicly and methodicly evolving into this all consuming ball of energy. Wrapping itself around me like a cloak of warmth and protection, adoring me as a Queen in my palace. Filled with the colors of gold, white, purple, luxe and beautiful, long and sweeping the floor as I sway about. Causing confusing and envy in the unlearnt eye. How does that effect you you might ask? I am now out of your way. You are next in line.
Have you ever put yourself out there and on display for others to view? For example a new hair do, school play, a talent school, a spelling bee or fashion show. Okay so if so its like I'm on stage now and your next to go. Brace yourself.
Time to get comfortable being uncomfortable. Success demands it! You can have what you want. You just have to be fearless enough to go and obtain it. "Ask for what you want -even at the risk of getting it."
If you've read any of the interviews of top designers there stories are quite similar. No one believed in them , or they had been working at this thing for sometime to no aval.  They kept on believing and kept on producing, kept on creating, and then , one day, it happened. Keep your faith and keep your eyes focused on your vision, do not sell yourself short or talk yourself out of your blessing.
God Bless You.