Thursday, August 18, 2011

When I'm Gone

Cluttered with discouraged images of ones self and blinded by the images we sell to the world for free. Wonder and why and doubt battle it out for attention, who's the loser? What were you thinking? Have we forgotten the promised certain end of us all, It's total finality and the nothing-ness of  no more. Missing what never was can breed an interesting despair. It's a combination of loss, desire, and fantasy unfulfilled. Silent prayers go unanswered and salty sorrow filled tears fall on the heart. Clinched fist bust into screams of guilt, Show me unfair. Are we? One day the same hurt we felt we will likewise cause. Willingly, forcefully, intentionally, accidentally, vengefully, timely and untimely, eventually.
 Is it a waste of your time? Love, with a question mark or an exclamation point. Love freely, laugh the laugh of  bliss. You must know goodness , journey and  destination! A sure change. Personally. The present moment and the fulfillment of the deepest dream. The songs we sang to the top of our lungs with the last breathe. Hitting the money note better than any pro-tools mechanism.
What will you miss? The gleam in the eyes of a father's love for his daughter after the unexpected ,"daddy I love you" accompanied by the pure warm hug of a child, or the moment you meet the little being from your womb after 9 long months, the first time your eyes meet and you knew this was it.
Do they miss us? Do they remember when we were kids?  Just in case store up for that time. Say Hello, I love you, I need you, I pray you happiness, joy, laughter, then say so long. Whos' left behind, who's next? Will it change anything?
I pray you good fortune. I pray you an open mind free from ego, image, and power seeking desires. Give more than you take. Apologize. Smile at strangers. Cry. Sing. Dance. Buy it. Look Pretty. Share. Go, and show up. Hold Hands. Hug from the inside out. Respond. Pay attention, listen.
God Bless You
Thank You For Reading

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Time Helps Every Situation

When you think about it it’s hard to imagine how waiting, longing, anticipation, wanting, needing or any of such could be helpful, until you live through them. Time, such a tiny word with a tremendous about of purpose. Time heals, Time changes people, Time waits for no one, Time is of the essence, it takes Time, Time is money, Time is on my side, don't waste my Time, good Timing, do you have the Time, I don't have Time for this, be on Time, in the nick of Time and take your Time are some of my all Time favorites.

I had the great pleasure of having lunch with an enchanting, passionate, soberingly beautiful, aware, young woman, with impeccable personal style, Julia Gosen.She’s graced the stage of countless  N.Y.C, elite society Fashion Shows, impressive print and media work spreading social continuousness all while attending college. Not to mention she moved here from Canada all alone and with no solidified residence, friends, nor family. She embodies the meaning of a "Shero", brave, bold and courageous. Julia has been here for two years and her journey has been full of peaks and valleys, personal triumphs as well as failure's all the while she remains consistent.

We began our casual conversation as we strolled down Madison Avenue, people watching and wondering if it were possible to be lonely in a city this massive. The streets flooded with people for miles, as far as the eyes can see. The sidewalks in the distance appear to be rolling like waves in the ocean with people.  I'm lonely, Julia uttered. I thought about it. She continued. I'm here all alone with no solid anything. Friends, Boyfriend, place to stay, nothing, and most of the time I'm by myself. When I first came here I was surrounded by people, sure she's my friend I thought but I naturally began to weed people out. The city will do that to you. It will show you who’s who. The modeling scene is dog eat dog; people will throw you under the bus in a minute. Not to mention the horrible things some of these Casting Director's will say to you. I had a woman ask me if I eat before even shaking my hand. You have girls that are willing to do anything. It's just not healthy. I admit I was like them once; I liked the party scene and all the night life. The attention I received and being allowed to get in here or there because I look like this or that. I now see how stupid that was. Again so unhealthy, I wanna be able to have a baby one day. I would be out until 4am and have to be in class by 9am just so unhealthy. I've also lived in every borough in the city and some of the worst areas it’s taught me quite a bit about myself and keeping me first. I used to be a big people pleaser. If I ever have the opportunity to speak to another young lady that’s considering moving to New York for modeling or some other career path, I’d say make sure you have your head on your shoulder's straight, You have to, you have to be smart. This is definitely a concrete Jungle. If my child self saw my adult self she wouldn't be happy. If my grandma where still alive she probably wouldn’t be happy either. I was her pride and joy. Where I have accomplished a lot of things I still have so much work to do, and I'm still questioning things and sorting things out. Time helps every situation I guess. Julia I think your right! Only time has taught you these valuable lessons and no need worrying about the future it will take care of itself, I responded. Continue to stay present and remain present fully with no regret and wish I had done this or said that. These conversations are mere distractions. You are well on your way and I cannot believe how intelligent you are. Age is truly just a number.Every experience we experience is for our evolution and you are well on your way. By the way I’m sure you’re still your grandma’s pride and joy. Look at what you’ve accomplished in just two short years with constant combatants; imagine what you’ll accomplish in the next two years with this new found clarity and a little support. I celebrate you and I applaud you Julia. Take a bow, job well done.
And to all the Julia’s out there who dare to try, go for their dreams, overcome their fears, who inspire others, help one another and lend a hand, I also celebrate you. You are amazing and don’t forget it. You can be do and have any and everything you want. Give it some Time.
Thank you for Reading
God Bless You