Woe is me , I am only human, and by saying only I give the illusion of  an insufficient "man". When the word says I am wonderfully and beautifully made. The voices inside one's head tell lies that unfold in the dark. We choose to believe other peoples opions of us over our own. Who knows who better? When I tell my three year old son vegetables give him muscles and make him stronger he believes me and tries out his new knowledge of his new found strength. Like him you and I were also three once. Where did that confidence go and can it be salvaged?
I watched the Red Carpet Reviews of the Oscars. I watched it with the television muted with a tranquil melody playing in the background. Soft music makes the most mundane occasion dramatic. I wanted to enjoy the parade of people in elaborate designer creations without any interruptions from the Na-Sayers. I wanted to take it all in. These are pieces I would not have been available for my eyes to enjoy if not for these people and there celebration. I looked in the eyes of Scarlett Johannson , Michelle Williams, Nicole Kidman, and Jennifer Hudson. Now better known as J. Hud. Just to name a tiny few. J. Hud, celebrated for losing over 80 pounds, and consoled for having tragically lost her mother and nephew is a most horrific manner, just a short time ago. However because her breast appeared to be in an uncomfortable predicament , she was worst dressed. What happened to the compassion we had for this woman?
These women set there minds to do something and are fulfilling there purpose. I imagine them practicing there lines in the bathroom of an important audition just before there name was called, singing for anyone who would listen, working on this project and that just to have it fall flat until finally, depriving themselves brownies to fit into the wardrobe selected for them for a body-type only a mannequin should have to replicate, and praying with clinched fist to be good enough. Tears dripping from their chin from another failed call-back. Wishing on shooting stars for  people to like them and maybe , one day love them. Spend time and money perfecting there craft in the hopes of one day being applauded for there tireless efforts and have there names remembered.
I must admit I too am guilty of criticizing, and tearing down another woman. I have learned from my mistakes. I've learned that in tearing her apart I also hurt. I now put even more pressure on myself to be something I was never intended to be and with any mercy we will live on this Earth for sometime, one day that woman you 've judged could be you.
As I watched these million dollar women sway across the red-carpet of  agony I envisioned myself breathing there breath and looking out of there eyes. It was exhilarating and I felt like Cinderella at the Ball. The air was fresh, newness resonated through the atmosphere. I was amongst societies elite. I was confident, attractive, rich, famous, all the above. I also was nominated for the umpteenth time with no win an wearing an "off the runway" design worn best by the model.
When is good enough, good enough? Designer dresses are marvelous. Fashion is art and everyone is intiled to there own interpretation of it. We put these people up on a pedestal just to watch them come crashing down. I thought we were a civilizted nation, not blood thirsty savages.
Give up the, "I love you as long as..." attitude and adopt a more neutral approach. After all these are the people that give us the words to say, when they just won't come out right in the songs they create. They show us ourselves in the roles they play on scene. Don't we owe them a little appreciation?
Think about it
sjstyle

Handle With Care

In the fashion industry the garments you purchase have fiber content tags and care labels. It is a  Federal Offense, punishable through the court of law, to produce clothing without this information, fine's even jail time are possibilities.
The fiber content and care labels carry tremendously important information, if with held one  would be disappointment and could mis-maintain their garment.
The fiber content labels also explain to you the rational of the purchase price and the quality of the article.
The care labels guide you through the preservation of your piece. Whether or not this item washes well or dry clean only. Wash with similar colors, add bleach, or  lay flat to dry. These minor strips of fabric are imperative for the optimal performance and preservation of the life-span of your garment.
People, you and I , are quite similar in that we are composed of different fibers. We are grown in the image of our experiences. Spun threw the spinneret of inconsistency and woven, knitted and tufted though heart ache, pain and joy.  
Some of us have matured into tolerant, durable fabrics, like denim or wool. We've been beaten, worn, and dis-stressed just to name a few, and we come out looking wiser for the wear, oh so stylish, trendy and vintage. Applauded for our resiliency all the while falling apart at the seams.
  Some of us have matured into more delicate fabrics like , chiffon, or charmusse. Soft , delicate to the touch but lacking any type of substance. Like a beautifully crafted gown. Some of us are over done and intimidating to possible suitors.  Albeit from too much glitter, or too much skin. A subconscious ploy to keep people at arms length because the thought of trying again, one more time for the last time, could snag their train and be unsightly.
The journey of love is an uncertain one, however I encourage you, when you are gracious enough to have someone, please handle with care it is worth it. Listen to them with your eyes. When they speak look them in the eyes. Take note of the changes is their vocal patterns, pay close attention to the stories they share and the music that makes them cry. The movies that make them laugh and the goals they set to achieve. All of this information are their care label and  maximize the life-span of your relationship.
Even the most durable knits have a bursting limitation.
Every pair of jeans you purchase with enough abrasion will eventually sprout a hole.
In the words of Otis Redding, try a little tenderness.
love you,God Bless
sjstyle

The Morning

I heard the man of God say Joy cometh in the morning!
I think that has a lot to do with your attitude. Think positive things and they will be drawn to you. Speak life into your morning! Today will be a great day! Your conscientiousness of the dawning of a new day and the endless possibilities that insue will prove to be invaluable.
How do you start your day?
How will you represtent yourself to your world today?
If you look good you feel good, and good things will happen for you. I'm sure you've heard this before and if not its true.
 What if you have an issue? What if your hair won't cooperate or your skin is under attack? You can STILL feel good.
I'm not sure if your familiar with the skin treatment Accutane, but I've used this product. It's a five month treatment (sometimes longer) that makes your Acne miserably worst before getting tremendously better, glorious even. I had to walk around NYC with a face full of Acne and smile. I even had a successful job interview during the treatment. I faked it until I saw what I was feeling. You can too.
If your hair is non-compliant feel free to wear a decorative silk head scarf or fancy hat. Wigs are so in for the Spring, try on a few and have them close by, just in case. How you doing? (Thanks Wendy !)
If you were lucky enough to check out the Fashion's during the Mercedes Benz Fashion Week, I'm sure you were inspired. The looks are relaxed and soft. Flowy skirts and bellowy blouses with feminine detailing. Bright patterns,clean lines, white's, high waists, flared legs, a-line dresses, animal prints and bad-girl edge.Chunky accessories, shiny nails beare or colored with soft hints of glimmer. 
Take the extra time to press your garments if necessary,spot check for any imperfections, the world will notice.  Before you run out the door say a quick prayer of graditude, smile back at yourself in the mirror today is your day.
This week I've been dressing for the job I want. Modern business causal seperates inspired by the career woman. Mixing neutrals, shades and vibrant silks to create an exciting array of contempary style in preparation of whats to come. You must prepare yourself for success. When the opportunity presents itself you want to be ready.When you fail to plan , you plan to fail. I don't know about you but for me failure is not an option!
 We are judged but our apperance, allow your verdict to be favorable.
Thank You For Reading, tell a friend.
Have a great day!!!
sjstyle

Style Question !!!

Someone asked me how would I describe my personal style. I was honored to have been asked.  I thought what a delightfully thought provoking question. Before I responded  I thought , I don't have a style, I'm a nomad. I pick up things as I go within reason and I don't apologize for my eclectic compilations. Mixing and matching is my middle name. I love fashion jewelry and pretty makeup. Long dark curly lashes and sun-kissed cheek bones, dewy lips and a soft scent. Weather is a heavy influence as well as my mood. My husband points out that I would have so much more time in the morning if I were to pick my clothes out the night before, however I've tried his theory and for me the outfit feels forced and unauthentic. I need to see the morning sun, or clouds, rain, e.t.c to get a true sense of self for this new and enchanting day.  One day I may want to adore rich jeweled tone hues and the next I may want a more muted palette. I enjoy vintage wear, business casual chic, textile variations, and new designers. The more I thought about it the more I discovered I absolutely positively DO have a style. I am fearless and I love Fashion . I describe my personal style as soulful, rustic, trendy and sophisticated on a budget. I am a seventies loving, earth tone wearing, modern boho-chic, minimalist. I love a statement heel and save flats for the beach and laundry day when possible. Needless to say this person walked away.
With the arrival of Spring Fashion's looming I'm most interested in trying some fun , flirty sixties mod-wear. I am a petite fashionista, our gams adore a mini-dress, the tunics sister. These pieces are perfect for day and evening wear. Can be dressed up or down, dependent upon the type of industry you work in , you could possibly sport this look to the office. Accessories are key.
No trend would be complete without appropriately coordinated accessories, and make-up. Handbags are smaller, hats are larger, turbans have returned, sunglasses covet twisted frames, and cosmetics are bold and beautiful. If you haven't found your foundation match already run do not walk run to your local Sephora or Department Stores . Check out the makeup counter's, look at the girls makeup behind the counter the models depicted in the display photos, take note of the color variations. Do they fit your lifestyle? Do you get a good feeling about this product and its price point? Ask question's about ingredients and then ask for a foundation color match. Don't feel pressured to purchase. I assure you,  you are helping the color consultant kill sometime and prefect her/his craft.  If the product is out of your budget you can find a comparable version in your local drug-store. If you need further assistance feel free to message me and I'll guide you every step of the way. You'll be a pro in no time.
How do you describe your personal style?
sjstyle

It's all a trick to keep you from loving yourself and enjoying your brief life, liking your own company and even smiling . Trick you that you will fail so you won't even try. You aren't beautiful or handsome, tall, slim or as wealthy as the God's of this Earth! You know who I mean, the celebrated celebrity. It's a trick to have you measure people from the outside , because who they are lies within. It's a trick to need and want people that can only do "something" for you, because  the key to true fulfillment is in giving.
Whom ever told you to compare yourself to anyone else anyway? Everyone else? The beautiful people, the miserably imprisoned by our over glorification designed only for the Father. Prophet Levar Samuel said, "What is good for God is poison to man."
If the enemy can distract you long enough he can trick you into believing most anything. He will trick you into thinking your invincible, have you drinking as many spirits as you can consume before falling over. Once you fall  and are able to get up  he will confirm your immortality. Just for you to do it again next weekend . Until it gets easier to do and you don't need the weekend, you don't need anyone.
You aren't living unless  you are in the club half naked, or diamonds shining with empty suitors all around. All eyes on me.
 Trick you that smoking is the only way to fully relax, relax from a hard days work or a trying occurrence. Trick you into believing a bad day is more frequent than the good ones, so you dis-spare. He will trick you into entertaining thoughts of suicide because anything has to be better than this! When its all temporary.
He will trick you that you absolutely must take someone else's life, because you don't play. Play, you won't get the chance to, not from behind bars, with your own children .
He will trick you into believing unforgiveness is the best way to prove your point, especially with your family members because they can't talk to you like that. Can't talk to the deceased, while your in the land of the living give them a call. See how they are doing, stop by. You'll wish you had when there eyes close.
We have all been tricked before and some of us are being tricked right now, because he doesn't have any new material.
Remember you are oh so very scared, one of  a kind, oh so very special. Your talents aren't graded on the curve. If he or she is intelligent in no way does that take away from yours, and that is true for everything else too. Albeit wealth, looks, or status. The things we value in this world.
We are here for only a short time, the present is such a gift. Each day it comes wrapped in a brand new box, some joy, some bliss, some tears. Don't fall for the trick. It is all worth it! You can try again,  you can do better the next time. Oprah said,"When you know better you do better." Now you know.
I don't know when it will get better or even easier, but I promise you it will!
Thank You
sjstyle

Listen to the Water

I encourage you to read this piece slowly and participate in the exercises to receive full enjoyment . I thank you in advance for reading and traveling with me. Today is about you. You are amazing and I want you to remember that.
Reading is Listening, Listening with your eyes. Proceed with caution you will complete this blog feeling completely different about yourself than before experiencing it. Allow the love shared to love you. Enjoy.
Close your eyes with me for a moment . Focus on stillness. Open your eyes. Place your left hand over your chest feel your chest rise and fall. Notice the powerful vibration of your very own heart beat. Become one  with the inside of you. Hug yourself for a moment. Give yourself a nice squeeze. Squeeze like your an old good friend you haven't seen in a while for reasons that just could not be helped and the hug is familiar,welcomed and celebrated.
The skin that you are in is the very same skin you were born in. It has spread out a bit however in it you have ... seen things. Some too awful to repeat and others to pleasant not to replay. Rewind them there in your minds eye for a moment too. All of these memories are also apart of the inside you. Like when you rode your first bike or when someone close to you went home to glory.
Your, your mother's child, you have your daddies ways. Your eyes twinkle like your grandmother's and your feet resemble your grandfather's.
Touch your own hands softly and look at them closely. See if you can  identify how each and every scape, bruise  or split nail got there. Its a test to see how well you really know the back of your hand. Hold them together one over the other. Squeeze them together. Remind yourself that, Yes you can have what you want! Yes you can do it! And most importantly, Yes you are good enough! You are a creator, created  by God and like God your hands can manifest greatness, Will you cooperate?
The water is ancient and pre-dates us all. The rain drops you walk in between every now and then cradled under the covering of an umbrella your ancestors have ran through with blood-hounds hot on their trail. The blood that flows through you whispers sweet songs of strength and resilience.
Like water, air is also ancient, Breathed into us divinely by Jesus Christ Himself,our lineage has recycled this breath into us and our lungs are iron clad.
Echo's echos echos of the voices of yesteryear live within our lungs and with every breath we take we radiate confidence. We are a people of great purpose.
Remember where you come from. You are the acceptable prototype.
Conclude this self-exploration by promising to listen to the water. Listen in the shower, rain storm or by the sea.
You are much larger than your physical body,you  are apart of it all. Breath deeply, close your eyes and stretch your arms wide, raise your head to the sky and say thank you. The best is yet to come.
Be Encouraged
sjstyle

What's up with that?

I know if I were you and I saw a blog entitled "fashion forum" I would think that the topics covered within the blog would be about fashion. You would be correct in your assumption if you have pondered this thought. So let us begin shall we?
FASHION, the name itself excites me.I would have loved to name our daughter Fashion but I felt that would be entirely too much pressure for one person to carry, its hard enough being a woman.
Growing up I never fancied my threads so much as we were extremely poor, as many of us were. However it has worked in my favor, humble beginnings inspired desire. Some of my favorite past times include back- to- school and Christmas. The link that binds...shopping! I would color coordinate my pencil case to match my notebooks and my backpack. I remember the year I asked my mother not to purchase dolls anymore, just cloths for Christmas; which I insisted I was present for. A fashionista in the making.
So enough about me, the weather is warming up and so are the fashion trends. In Lu of the Grammy's last night, minus a few all time favorites I was disappointed with what the trend setters brought to the proverbial table.
Fashion and style are oh so very expansive and diverse. There individualized and unique to each of us and our individual body types. It bothers me to see celebrities choose prom queen or street hooker as the only too looks to try out. As an artist it is your obligation to protect your brand/image. We are in the information age try different looks,explore.As should we all. If you have a funky style, or a minimalist style try a boho chic trend, or modified 80's trends and by all means do the classic ten. Theses include a pearl necklace,red lipstick,or a white botton up blouse you can never go wrong .  If you hate it that's OK but at least experience different textile variations, different colors on your skin and something outside of your comfort -zone dare I say"the norm". Everything changes only nothing stays the same. I believe Niche coined this term. Keeping this in mind, change with the times. Stay current . You don't have to follow the trends per-say, but by all means you must look current. Modify and challenge what you think. This is how we learn and grow as people. Always have your own back as Maya Angelo would say.  As you explore fashion variations continue to be true to yourself,feel free to include your favorite staple pieces.
Thank you , that is all
sjstyle

What Say Ye??

Hey ladies and gentlemen. Mostly ladies I'm sure. Not sure if your hip to the Real Housewives of various cities craze, if not you are missing a real treat. Check your local listings,the program airs on the Bravo Network. Tune in as soon as possible so you can keep up with the discussion.
Most recently on the RHWOBH(Real Housewives of Beverley Hills) one of the housewives throw an elaborate white party. Close friends family and friends of close friends.
As a wife I'm cognisant of the friends I embrace and even more of the ones I invite to my home around my family. You have to be It's precious!  Not everyone is singing your praises an celebrating your marriage and or relationship. Some are but others are envious and some have absolutely no respect for  monogamy. They see the picturesque family structure and want to challenge the union.
In the afore mentioned episode an invited guest placed one of the husband's in a seductive head lock and engaged him in a conversation. She questioned him,"Is your wife taking care of you?"
It may surprise you to know if you haven't lived a similar experience that these types of women do exist. This woman was attractive and confident. She may have had a drink or two too many but the question she asked was a sober one.
This brings me back to the title of this blog, What Say Ye?
How would you tackle such a disturbing occurrence? Or how have you in the past?
The wife in the RHWOBH stormed over to the woman from across the room. She told her to get off of her husband and asked her if she wanted a Manolo in the eye? Then told her to get out. Yikes!
I like it,short and sweet.
I was wondering why the husband didn't give the "woman" in question the cold shoulder.
I think a great way to approach a very realistic problem like this is to plan well in advance. Talk about how you handle flirtatious male/female encounters and the ways you'd like your spouse to respond. As you've heard time and time again communication is key.


God Bless You,
always a lady
sjstyle