Wednesday, July 27, 2011

We Learn

If your lucky enough (and I use the word luck ever so loosely) to work, play or socialize in multiple circles you learn very quickly the dysfunction of humanity isn't only prevalent in " Urban" communities but it is expansive. Watching Soap Opera as a child with my mother as she loving nurtured my hair, I'd wonder how all these wealthy people had so much drama. This memory was refreshed as I began the interviewing process for my final quarter's internship in college. I noticed the people I thought  would treat me poorly were extra careful not to and the ones I'd expected to be super supportive were the exact opposite.
Some of us gain on the job training skills, I'm gaining on the journey training skills. I'm learning by being treated poorly how to treat others well. You can never hinder someones growth nor can you accelerate it. If there is a resource or valuable piece of information that you have and you know another could greatly benefit from it, do not hoard it. Share it, there is MORE than enough abundance to do around. I learned this lesson as my tummy would be growling and "out of no where" I would be feed free of charge.
Gandhi said Be the change you want to see. I also want to add to that accept your current circumstance. Stop forcing the future to be here, or frequently re-playing the past.
I hope this was helpful, pass it on.
God Bless You

Friday, July 1, 2011

Can You Relate?

I think I'm just one of those people, the type that puts there foot in there mouth and wishes they hadn't said that. Makes a mistake,  apologizes and makes another, turns left instead of right, Generally misunderstood and often mistaken. Sensitive, unsure and a little impatient.  Just the perfect candidate for God to move, show up and show out. In His word He says when you are weak I am strong. Thank You Lord for being my strength. Today I had none. I woke up late after going to bed early. Couldn't process my thoughts and put together an outfit. Disappointed someone or two, got offended, needed a hand, lost something important and expensive, cried too long and was too upset to eat.
I know I will get it together i just wonder what I am ruining in the meantime? If I could only get out of my own head and out of my own way......What does that even really mean?
Most days I'm so confused, pulling from one self help book to the next just to feel bad about feeling bad and not evolving as the book guaranteed I would with proper practice of the principals.
Wanting to speak to someone but there being no one. Jesus.
I pray I'm not being to forward or too miserable. I pray that I'm not being selfish or a complainer. I just really could use you right now. I need to know what's happening to me and what I need to be doing to make it. Am I not trying hard enough , am I not being nice enough, am I not sharing enough? How can I help ?
My son saw me crying today, I thought he was fast asleep. He said he came to check on me. What  a major burden for a child, how noble of him.
I guess none of us should expect to have a vacation of a life all the time. Thank you Father for hearing me and allowing me to speak for that someone who didn't have the words to say.
I will continue to praise you. I thank you for every road traveled, your mercy and your loving kindness towards me. I have embraced peace.
Thank You For Reading
God Bless You