Trust

There is tremendous power in thought. The Bible says so a man thinkth so is he. Every material item began with a thought, think about it. A lot of who and where you are today has to do with your thought processes. Too much pressure? I think not. Powerful for sure.

Did you know the difference between you and the tree in your back yard are a mere few elements listed on the periodic table? Yes it's true. We are all connected, its amazing, the sky, the tree's , the water, you and I are all the same disguised in different costumes if you will. Deepak Chopra says "a tree doesn't try to be a tree, it just is." You and I are a part of this exact same completing essence. We were created to create. You don't have to try to be what you are, it already is, just be.

Today  was a combination of dreams and focused intentions coming to reality. Standing in front of the multi billion dollar Globally expansive Hearst Corporation my eyes filled with happy tears. This was the very beginning and the ending. It was the beginning of a new more fulfilling chapter and the ending of a less than serving existence. As if I crossed over to the other side of redemption.

Now the work begins, as a trailblazer you set the stage for the next and the foundation  layed must be strong, sturdy and invincible. No longer going through the motions and pretending, it's go time and you want to come out and  play full out. Show Up! Ask for a hard thing, envision yourself receiving it and go forth in preparation. You must be passionate and mentaly ready to do the work.
How will you ever know whats "too much" for you if you never push yourself past your current conditioning? Of course you get nervous and feel scared. Do something daily that scares you, you will out do yourself each day. You are your only competition. Not your neighbor or the girls you went to junior high-school with or your spouse. You! As I mentioned in a prior posting get comfortable being uncomfortable, success demands it! This is how you build your self-esteem. The self-esteem that's so low at times you can barely decide what to have for lunch.

Some of us talk ourselves out of something because we have never accomplished something so grand and fear we may fail if we try. I encourage you to fail, because you will suffer a little and when you suffer you remember and when you remember you will make a different choice the next time around. Don't beat yourself up for it either. Every observation you make about yourself make it constructive and don't allow others to. Its okay to improve on one's self and be open to feedback but only to a point. Let your heart be your guide it will help you differentiate the difference.

On this planet we have air ,water, food to eat, people to enjoy and beautiful garments to adorn ourselves in . Just like this planet you likewise have everything you need to be the very best you you can be. Trust yourself you are perfect!

Thank you for reading
Sjstyle

When In Rome do as the Romans do?

As an African American woman in this country I find the struggle between growing up poor and "keeping it real" transformed into education and advancement with financial stability an insult to some or even most in my community. I have been told that because I speak with "big words" I think I'm better than someone and I walk around like a white girl. How in the world did this happen? I think that people have a ton of preconceived notions and expectations of what it means to be black and when you challenge that and say I'm going to continue to be black that's the only way I could ever be , but I'm also going to add a few degree's to my belt, refuse to raise my children in the neighborhoods I was raised, share my journey so the next generation might make a different choice and  this makes people uncomfortable. It even makes people so uncomfortable they want to test you and see if you can still "get urban" as my favorite professor,  Professor Woods would say. You could choose when in Rome do as the Romans do, play small and limit your verbiage, intelligence and professional persona, or you could do what feels right. What is that? For me it had a lot to do with listening to the negativity and the perceived problem because with in them lie the solution. Each day is a new lesson to be learned and as soon as you think you have learned them all in comes a new one.
I even went as far as to feel sorry for myself because I wasn't all things to all people and I wasn't liked by everyone nor was I spreading the bliss I'd so strived for. For me I learned not to force solutions on issues and sometimes they will resolve themselves.Other times you have to look in the mirror. Ask questions you might not want to know the answer to. If perception is reality, how am I being perceived? Am I in some way coming across as condescending or boastful. Do my stories in some way offend or ensue regret in others for less than best choices they've made in the past? How can I be a mover and a shaker in a manner that doesn't step on anyone's toes? Most importantly if I am this example of the new African American standard how can I continue to flourish without alienating my own kind or any kind for that matter? I'm working on the answers but the best part is I'm more aware of these possibility and I'm also more accepting of different personality types.So here's to being the change you want to see.
God Bless You
Thank You For Reading
Sjstyle

Stories Untold

She and I had never spoken and yet we knew each other so very well. I looked out of the only window of my 7th floor apartment which faced a brick wall and a window, her window. She was youthful and full of vigor, child-like and loving, innocent and menaceing. A victim of her own story with no Super Hero in sight. Hoping, hurting, praying she was, often, in  her home filled with broken glass, egg shells, sudden unwanted surprises,disrepair and constant disappointment.  I'd watch her eyes as she looked out the window. I'd watch her thinking. I watched her write words from the heart. I watched as the tears began and until they had completely fallen, I'd watch her wipe her face in furry, hide her face in frustration and scream aloud into her clasped finger-tips. Sometimes I wondered her thoughts and I knew them. What just happened this time? And then our eyes met. A sun-filled ray of light connected them and we spoke silently. She whispered as she shared, her pain spoke much louder, she was only 16. She wanted to run away, but didn't want to leave her little sister behind. The absence of her father left the stench of poverty and crack-cocaine. The unwanted advances made by her mother's drug dealing boyfriend had now become of a sexual nature. It was only a matter of time before he made his move. Oh no not that again, her mother's last boyfriend did that to her and that's when her mother stared doing drugs again. It was all her fault, she was convinced. Her favorite film was The sound of Music, she could watch for hours at a time. It was just the type of presentation she yearned for. One day my mommy will find someone so special, that she will be so happy, she will stop doing drugs. She wanted to sing, she wanted to dance and play an instrument. She wanted to have a new pair of shoes, at least two pair and look like someone beautiful. Her eyes closed, our conversation went silent. She opened them with a single tear. She was ashamed. She opened her window wider and faster than I'd ever seen before and she stepped onto the ledge. I scurried to open mine and  screamed NO as I stepped on my ledge in the furious dead of winter winds dressed in only a bellowing night gown.  Our voices met. We introduced ourselves in a shivering , screaming dialect. "I wanted to go to LaGuadia one day, they have good music programs." she blurted. "Want to come to my house for hot chocolate and talk about it a little more" I inquired " No thank you I'm not going there anymore, I'm leaving here, I wanted to go to college, get married to a man of my dreams that wore glasses and shiny shoes and have 4 children. Three boys and one girl, she would be the youngest. I would name her after myself." "You are going to have an amazing future" I encouraged "Na, I'm not smart enough for those things, my mother told me I must be the stupidest bitch she'd ever seen, I believe her" The wind interrupted her. Then a scream in the background. Her little sister had fallen." I have to go." she said in a rush "WAIT!!!! I have been waiting and subconsciously preparing to love on you a little bit. In some strange way I am glad you got on this ledge today, this is no accident. I am you in a few years, I know your story, I have recited it several times before to whom ever would listen. You can redesign your life, You can have whatever you want. Yes, Yes, Yes you can! I screamed, I acknowledge your sorrow and I embrace it but you can be your own search and rescue.When you go back in that house I want you to know that this is NOT your future, but it's all it will ever be if you end the story now. The best parts have yet to be written." She looked back at me without a word. I searched for her each day that week, went to the window and each time the sheet was down. I went to her apartment  anxious and full of fears of the worst. Her mother opened the door with drink in hand. She looked me up and down and said Yes?, I asked for her daughter she said she didn't know where that fast tail girl was and when she see her she was going to beat her behind. I left politely.
About a month later I received a letter in the mail. It was her. She had run and found her self and who she was and was working on manifesting the life she wanted to live. She said she was doing OK in school and had asked her best auntie to take her little sister, which she did. Her mother promises to do better and has left that guy. She doesn't know whats next but it happy there is more to come.
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You don't have to cut your story short, you can make a new choice and choose to be the light, so shine so bright. Let the world see that the Phoenix can rise from the dust. The ghetto, the hood, the Inner -City, the Urban Community you come from is the perfect soil for endless possibilities to grow tall.  You are a Hero, You are a maven in the making. Life has dragged you though the glass and you have come out shiny and new. I applaud your excellence, strength and courage. Replenish, rejuvenate, collect your thoughts and share them. We need them. Another person is waiting to hear from you and how, why, you made a different choice.
God Bless You
Thank You For Reading
Sjstyle