The Beautiful Last Goodbye

If it be Thy will...so much surrender in those four little words. And if it be Thy will- so it is.

It took me 17 years to utter those words with sincerity to our Heavenly Father.

17 years ago I lost my Earthly Father, Ethaniel Walton, at the age of 33, after not having him in my life for over 8 years and then becoming reacquainted at age 12 and having him in my life for a single year and a 1 time visit during summer vacation for 1 month. What a tragic story. Today would have been his 50th Birthday.

Before I begin a sorrow filled love letter I would like to turn it around and acknowledge the beauty of this story. You see God knows exactly what he is doing. This was a peradime shift in my life-the transition into my teenage years. He set the stage before he left for the next chapter.

 As much as I would like to press reset or find a Genie in a lamp to bring him back, I experienced the fullest form of pure unadulterated love, compassion, appreciation, understanding, kindness and answered questions-honesty. Oh Daddy, "I miss you so much", is an understatement! You have been gone so very long and so much has happened. It was so sudden.

The time we shared I carry deep down in my heart, safe.  Your love meeting my heart was foreign yet welcomed-from Hello to Farewell. Your love was like my favorite ice-cream on the hottest summer day, the cool of summer nights breezes.

 Every year, every birthday, every child birth I experience, every holiday I cry, cry cry, in your absence. Nothing changes. Now I celebrate your memory and share your splendor for all of us left behind.

Thank you for my very first training bra, I know you were as frightened as I was. First solo trip and first time in New York.  "S"gold ring, my first and placing it lovingly on my finger. Purple and white Fila sneakers, I rocked those until they started talking. Belly laughs galore, man you were hilarious,you were Fun! Singing together, you and I, making me feel like the only other person in the world. Teaching me how to cover more ground while moping the floor, how to brush my teeth "pretty", introducing me to Malcolm- X the dynasty, I don't know is not being an answer, how to bend down like a lady, the many many uses of alcohol, the importance of grooming and keeping a joke n your pocket. I loved the good times, the bad times and all in-between. I miss you. What a difference a month can make, every moment was so precious.

When I gave birth to Shannon-Ethaniel. Hurt by Christina was playing on the radio. Of all the songs. I felt your presence. Whenever I want you or need you I sing your favorite songs and there you are. Thank You.

You should know that I have a love. He is good to me, just like you wanted. He is also a singer. I guess its true girls do look for Husbands like their father's.

At the end of our thirty days, as I was boarding the train, I always wondered why you cried. Your spirit knew this was an atom bomb separating us within this dimension. I was to journey on without you. You did good Daddy, take a bow. I am married to a good, hardworking man that loves me for real in thought , word and deed, we have two of the brightest , loving, talented assignments from the Lord.I am in Graduate School. Completed two others with Honors. Have a great career and most importantly a personal relationship with the Lord.

I love learning thank you for sharing the importance.

I am a fighter Daddy  and I choose the experiences I want to have.

Thank You for sacrifice of Love-you didn't have to and with non-judgement I thank you for doing so when you did. God's timing. You are my hero and until I can tell you in person, "Keep your shirt on!"

  Within the midst of the storm there are several things occurring. One, you have experienced the front end and in axcious anticipation of the back end. Some say while riding through the storm, Jesus holds you in His arms. Two you maybe thinking of ways to end the touture early or how to find yourself and mantain sanity in the presence of your loved ones. You don't want to appear to not be able to hold it together-after all you are an adult. Some give up and say what the heck...its all over with anyway. I'll just have a drink or a smoke or some other quick fix aside from prayer-which pretty much means wait on the Lord to respond. Those things may help you sleep at night but when the morning comes the storm is still looming over head. How do you ride out the Storms of Life as they occur? Think about that for a minute.
  During these moments are when you must make the tough choices. They tend to be defining moments and determine the next chapter of your journey. I think tough is not the right word in this context because by calling something tough, it sound like it is possible-when really its like deciding to lose your dominate arm or your right leg.
 You may have weathered an unexpected pregnancy or a sick child. A less than desirable spouse to put it lightly or a financial crisis, putting you in a position to turn down your plate-an impromtu fast if you will, so that your children may eat the next day. Lie to the ones closest to you and say you will be unable to attend b/c of plans made- so they don't give you that said woes is me sigh on the other end of the phone.How do you ride out the Storm?
  This is the land of milk and honey...right? So what happens when your fourty acres and a mule have not arrived and the bills are past due? You have completed your course work -degree or several degrees in hand and nothing. Not even nothing to show for your efforts just nothing. A perverbial silence heard lounder than the cracking of your broken heart.
  Someone will most definitely come a long with a one liner. You know the quick fix-it-anodote, one size fits all answer to your life long problems. They are confident and have it all figured out. Self proclaimed experts-the biggest storms they have experienced is weather to go out to eat or order in. Interesting, don't you think.
How do you ride out the storm?
Thank you for reading
Shawna Jones

Even Robots Make "Mistakes"

I've designed my professional self to reflect the images of those that have come before me with the hopes of achieving success as well. Yes , my story will be different as will yours however if someone has paved the way take the path. We learn from one another. No harm no foul. I came to this conclusion only after trying it my way with unsatisfactory results. Constant setback after setback and "man I wish I would have known that" phrases stated like a broken record on repeat with countless amounts of lost time. I've read numerous books , educated myself, completed internships and am in great expectation of a harvest. You reap what you sow. Most recently I was called robotic and accused of being less than real. I was shocked. How could this be, was my professionalism off ending or in some way offensive? I did some digging and have devised a master plan. Would you like to hear it? Great. I took that one from Dora The Explorer. When you work at your highest level of proficiency some people may feel intimidated by you, try to break your tunnel vision and throw you a curve ball just because they can. Further more just because a word is said no more makes it truthful than sitting in the garage makes you a car. I have heard some say Yes while many say No. Trust your gut. There is never only one way to the top. As I mentioned earlier your story will be different. In addition to those key pieces make sure you keep people that are in your corner in your circle and exclude all that do not believe in you or your movement. They are distractions, dream killers. If after a conversation or interaction you walk away feeling emotional and road blocked , my darling you have encountered a dream killer. They want to plant a seed of insecurity within your spirit. Once the seed is planted successfully and nurtured by your ruminating on it, it will grow into a cancer. This cancer will be harder to pluck out than most because you will begin to function within a spirit of defeat. Why do you think women in their mid-late twenties and thirties are bringing the persons they allowed to bully them in grammar school on talk shows to say, "Look at me now." Vindication. That negativity grows, it grows stronger and more and more powerful by the day, months and years. Remember you Reap what you Sow. Yes. So as your spirit is beaten down by this cancer you will begin to fail, sometimes failing in places you've previously succeeded. Interesting isn't it, the power of words, how each one of them make a difference.
I admit it I  may be a robotic and with good reason. I like to take notes as my supervisor is giving me instruction. I do this so I won't have to bother her once I've reached my desk and forgotten. I google good questions to ask in addition to my own heart felt wonders. Could there be a glitch in the programming? Possibly. Everything improves in time with practice. 10,000 work hours, I've been told is what it takes to master a skill talent or trade of some sort.
I've said all of this to share this. As you progress and struggle to your destiny, don't forget your inner voice. I heard the Preacher say the Holy Ghost! Let the Church say Amen! The Universe is Always working on your behalf. I know it may seem like the fight is long, stress filled, sleepless and misunderstood but don't give up. You can do this. There are those who haven't been born and they need you to pave a way for them lest they will experience great hardships. Leave your legacy of perseverance. Here's to all my robots with a authentic flair.
Thank You For Reading
Be Encouraged
Shawna Jones
Very Best Life Begin!

Inspiration

Most anything can be inspirational. I'm always amazed to hear Fashion Designer's when asked, "What inspired this year's collection?" Replying something like, "While on vacation in Cambodia a tree on an isolated plain reminded me of my childhood in Louisiana and fostered my imagination to expand in a way I thought didn't exist for adults..." Every single time I'm taken aback by what can inspire such beauty, such rage or despair. What inspires you?
I remember as a child I was inspired to be beautiful, a wealthy princess, powerful, God like as graceful as a ballerina and as gentle as a flowers petal in the spring time . I would walk through the house as if I were walking down the isle, floating on a cloud, with a rope or towel on my head, anything to give me the appearance of long flowing locks. I would twirl in my long night gown and pretend I was catered to and adored., the bell of the ball. Curtsy as I entered and exited the room for appeal and smile at all I would meet. Allowing possible suitors to kiss my hand and quickly shy away as a lady might. Some of my favorite films included fictions, Disney movies mostly; where I could share center stage with the main character, belt out my favorite notes in song and share in the happy endings. I loved the Sound of Music, The Wizard of Oz, The Little Mermaid,even though I now know The Little Mermaids ending isn't as happy as one might think. She was aspiring to be something she was not in the hopes of obtaining a husband and loosing complete ties with her family, but that's for another time. I loved The Color Purple, as the long painful power struggle turned into a it was all worth it, you are beautiful even if nobody else thinks so antidote like ending.
These movies inspired my already vivid imagination, inspired me to expand, grow, explore, flex my creative muscles and believe in the seemly impossible.
The world is filled with marvel and bountiful splendor. We are apart of it all and are also included in this splendor. Each and everyone of us has a different amazing story to share, with inspirations from the depths of our souls to the most light hearted moments of  triumphs we celebrate. Share your story. How did you get to where you are? I heard someone say. Life is played forward but only understood backward. Meaning you can look back and say, "OK, now I see why that happened." Taking one road will always evade another but you most only choose one.
Thank goodness you have the power to not only imagine the way your life may turn out if one path were taken but also create the life you'd like to have, not in the future, but right now.
Speak to people you don't usually speak to, introduce yourself. Watch programming that doesn't necessarily appeal to your natural sensibilities. This way you can contribute to most any conversation if and when the moment arises. Prepare yourself to succeed and allow your imagination to inspire and  to be your guide.
Thank You For Reading,
Very Best Life Begin.
Shawna Jones

Definitions

How do you define success? It's different for quite a few of us. Some fear success and some , the success of others with all that it brings. It makes me think. If you are in a state of non-success or lack, scarcity , how do others respond to do? Who do you date? Why? How do you treat people? Why?Are you married or engaged? Where do you live? All things are temporary by the way.
What would happen if the life as you live it were to be flipped upside down and all the lack you've experienced is now transformed into utter abundance, on all sides? I've tuned into t.v shows about average individuals like you and I who've had the "good fortune" to win millions. Most of the stories were horrific!
Easy come easy go they say. Does this rule apply to those that work really hard and then earn a large salary within a considerable short period of time? Not sure, but I do know what defines you will determine your intentions. How you spend, where to frequent, what you purchase and how well you do your job. I heard a rapper say when you stop being hungry you lose it. Whatever your it is.
Prepare yourself daily.
Who knows you may receive a large inheritance from a long lost uncle, or your spouse may cash in a trust-fund. Just the same define success for yourself and provide for yourself, you never know when the money will run out.All things are temporary by the way.
Success or money if you will, can bring a lot of things to light. If you are super humble in lack and turn into an arrogant, ego filled, flesh bucket, it was there all along lying dormant. You can be all you've ever dreamed with the help of proper funding what will you be? A cheating husband/wife? Popping bottles in the club with your "friends", you will have dozens surely. Or maybe you will be the women that's addicted to retail, talks with her hips and prides herself on the labels she possess'. All things are temporary by the way.
Internal will carry you for the journey ahead, external pleasures will get you through the day only. You will yurn something, bigger, better, prettier, etc tomorrow. It's a viscous cycle.
Here's a thought to ponder...What defines you?
Thank You For Reading
God Bless You
Shawna Jones

Have You Been Naughty Or Nice???

 With the future looming and daily transforming into the present, we must be certain to set our intentions with as must appropriation as possible. Are yours to be "Important" one of the "Beautiful People" or to"Show Them"? If so yours may be a bit jaded and in need of some healing. We have all been there, the key as Lisa Nichols would say is not to take up permanent residency there.
We are here only for a time, this goes without saying. We are constantly reminded with the loss of  friends, family, co-workers and members of the community via the nightly news. Most often times abruptly and without warning. How time consuming to consistently be on the proverbial stand, trying to prove something, to continue to live up to an unreasonable expectation and someone else's desire for your life.
When you envision yourself in a successful capacity do you imagine the conversations carried or the threads you'd adorn? Do you imagine snuffing the people who'd previously snubbed you? Sashaying past previous loves who left you for Her??? Look at me now honey...I'm Shiny and New!! Think of it as him doing you a favor and making room for your husband. Or do you ponder the tithes you'll offer, charities with which to donate, how you will love on those less than friendly individuals, or how you will pay homage to those that helped you along the way? Tell the truth, its OK this is a safe space. I'm sure there have been quite a few people who've helped in various forms. Think about it. All that "showy" stuff is external and of no importance even with a hefty price tag. Internal is the focus, the most valued and priceless.
When you prove to the Father he can trust you, he will bless you with more. Remain Humble I say time and time again and remove All Ego from the equation. We all could use a reminder sometime, its easy to forget when the world gives you the cold shoulder and talks down to you with out reason.
You were made for this, abundance included, whatever your this maybe. If it makes you feel alive, if you move and function as your most authentic self  you can and will obtain treasure, all the while helping others to find there's. People will like you when you become successful and fulfill your dreams but they will love you when you help them fulfill theirs. Isn't that what we all want ? To be loved? Yes, we are made in His imagine and in his likeness, He wants us to love Him too. If while performing your "this" time doesn't exist and you could continue until the end of time, you have found your alive essence. Mike Murdock says. "if you take a fish out of water and place him on the ground, he will flop around and go nowhere like a dummy, but put that same fish in the water and his genius manifest." Ask God to manifest your genius.
 Don't you love the share button on Face Book? It's a test if you think about it.The Share button is asking you to make a conscious choice, a decision, ever so slightly. What is your thought process? I'm talking specifically about those bits of information you stumble upon you know will cause an effective change. These small and subtle daily choices collectively compose your character.
The choice is yours and only you can make it.
God Bless You, Thank You for reading
Very Best Life Begin,
Shawna Jones (formerly Sjstyle)

Excellence

   Most of us are working within companies we don't particularly care for and within jobs we feel don't pay us enough and are even "beneath" us. Stay because we need the income and complain complain complain as much as the day is long to whomever will listen. Sharing negativity works in the opposite way you think it does, its not serving you , your company or the company you keep and especially not the Universe that's ALWAYS working on your behalf. You see He knows what's best for you, what you can manage and what you think you are ready for. Every single experience is for your growth and personal development; evolving you into this complete being. Remember you aren't "only Human", you are a Human Being, ever evolving,  learning,  growing and changing.
Everything God made , He made it to grow and that especially includes you. While contributing your time to any job remember this is your life which is a scarce natural resource and hear anyone that's lost most anyone at anytime; entirely too short. You are where you are because this experience is a preparation for whats to come. You are being prepared for excellence and in order to become excellent you must be refined in your service through dedication and consistency. Do your job and allow it to represent your excellence. Let your work ethic be rooted in your very very best, let's call it practice because you can't just switch on when your "dream" career presents  itself if you have accustomed yourself to perform in mediocrity.
Why do you think some excel? Few remain ambitious , many start off strong and wither with the test of time. Work for an applause for which never arrives and lose sight of the bigger picture. Prepare for the , "thanks!!! good job", but are left hanging. Over looked by the boss do to the new cute hire or the owners niece and sometimes the recent college grad that you are left to train for your position. Let me remind you God sees all and you in all your excellence. This is not the destination but the journey and we've only just begun.
It's okay if you have gotten overwhelmed over worked and dropped the ball a few times, redemption is imminent and you can and will create a new. One of the very best ways to succeed is by failing because when you suffer, you remember and you learn. Remain humble you know who you are and what you feel you deserve but the individual that's your supervisor is so because God says so, it is well!! All that is due you is for you and you will surely receive it. My Great Grandmother( Mother Dear) used to say, "the slowest way is the best way" and why is that; because its a process.
You are excellent at your 9 to 5 you Mogul you! You are excellent at your part-time retail position  you Fashion Designer Extraordinaire you! You are excellent as a stay at home mother you Entrepreneur you! Don't you forget! Now go forth in excellence.
God Bless You
Sjstyle